Safe words are signals to those involved with a scene that something isn’t right. Safety may not seem to be a prime concern to those observing a scene, but without safe words, it can be downright dangerous. It is no fun loosing a partner.
If you are just starting out with fetish play, a simple ‘OW’ may suffice. If saying ow is part of the fun, perhaps something else should be chosen. There are several ways to choose a safe word. Try a word that would not come up in common conversation, like eclipse or birthday. If you have a pet or favorite person, try their name. If you have an ‘in scene’ name, use your real name as your safe word.
Perhaps you cannot think of a safe word, or your partner cannot. Try using the stoplight method.
Red means STOP right now.
Yellow means slow down or back off, but don’t stop.
Green means, it’s o.k., I actually liked it...
And for those who are into more color, Blue can mean, 'What, you hit me?'
Doing what is called a calibration at the beginning can let you know how hard to start out. What would be a 4 on a 1 to 10 scale for one person may be a 9 for another.
If you are into gags, a safe signal should be employed. A small bell, a hand gesture or the ability to undo the bonds are all good ways of having a measure of safety.
If you are the Top/Dom of the scene, please keep in mind that sometimes the people you are with cannot think for themselves while under the influence of endorphins. The damage that you see may not register to your sub/bottom until it is too late. You can call Safeword as much as the person you are with. If they cannot answer you coherently, it is time to call Safeword.
I call Safeword and want you to answer a few questions.
Do you have a Safeword?
Yes ___ No ___
What is your Safe word?
Yes! You must have one! ______
Do you have different Safe words for different situations?
Yes ___ No ___
In what situation would you not want a Safe word?
(Trick question, even consensual non-consent scenes have safe words)
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