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Dealing with difficult scenes

A thought, just in time...

A scenario was presented to me today.

And ...  I am uncomfortable.

A little background.  The person I was talking to was offered an opportunity to do some role playing, which should wind up with them bonking.  There is a uniform, some possible bodice ripping…  And culturally charged situations.

I have made sure this is a freely offered situation, from the ripee to the ripper.  There may be a few things to learn before this session occurs, but that is not the big thing.  My mind is still working on how to approach coaching this young one so that they have a good time, and do not leave any lasting scars, inside or out.

When approaching something that could be considered taboo in regular society as a play space in the BdSm community, you have to be doubly aware of what is going on.  Consent is foremost, but giving consent beforehand can suddenly become a Red situation if not approached with communications and a butt tonne of research.

Playing with racial relations, complete ownership, and even cultural land mines like WWII Nazi role-play, the fantasy does not always meet reality.  Sometimes, reality will make a ‘simple’ scene become heart-rending and horrible.  Approaching your partner with such a way to play can change a relationship, forever.

I have danced around this, because it is not easy to openly say that people want scenarios that, in real life, would be horrifying to experience, but turns them on so hard they really want to do it.

Let me break down a few things here.  Let us look at this from three different perspectives, role-play, techniques, and aftercare.

Role-play

Fantasy is a tricky thing.  There are many ways for you to go into a fantasy.  It can be hard to know what part of the situation is the most important and cannot deviate, and what can be glossed over to be relegated into the soft focus of your memory.  To be able to role-play a fantasy, you need to be honest with yourself and your partner what parts of the fantasy are in what part of the spectrum.  Are you are going to need to talk about what it is like to call, or be called, derogatory terms that are essential for the scene, or is that too hard for one or the other of you to actually do?  Clothing that brings up a historical situation that, normally for you or your partner, would be right out, but in this situation is needed to get into head space for the fantasy?  The need for Props that are triggers for bad things to happen, but lead to good feelings when used in this fantasy?  This all can be covered in the role-play part of figuring out a delicate scene.

The fantasy is play acting out something that gets you off.  The dark fantasies that come with being raped, degraded, or having something in your past pulled out for a scene can be really hot, but only if you understand that it is just a fantasy.  Talk about what you want, and might expect.  If you are the Top in such a scene, you need to take the responsibility to keep your bottom from getting too deep into that head space, or freaking out because it gets too ‘real’.  Have your fun forcing your prisoner to put the condom on your cock before her head gets forced to go down on you, but make sure that a Safe Word or Safe Action has been set before that rooms’ door is opened.  If you think the shirt is supposed to be cut off, talk about it, and keep a bathrobe or sheet ready for when the scene is over.  Use your strength to overpower them as their role forces them to cower before you and soak it in, knowing that you both are going to get off on what is going on.

Techniques

If the role-play part of it is daunting, and race-play can be especially difficult if you have been brought up to not throw around names and epithets, concentrate on the techniques you may need to use in the scene.  Going to the basics can make any scene better, and does not rely on a script.

Practice BEFORE you play.  If you are to be interrogating someone, practice tying ‘things’ to a chair, as well as cheesy Noir P.I. lines.  Is your flogging up to snuff for disciplining your slave?  A pillow is a good subject to use, and will not tell anyone if it bruises.  Is part of the thing you have been asked to do involve knife play?  Learn how fabric cuts, tears and stretches before using the knife on a piece of clothing, and keep a first-aide kit close just incase there is a slip.  Think of anything that you may want to do in the scene, and become familiar with it, to the point of being comfortable, if you can.

Aftercare

The third thing, Aftercare, seems out of place, here, but this is not a fuck and leave situation.  If you do not make enough time to cool down afterwards, to make sure you and your partner are good with what just happened, then you should not do the scene at all.  Work back from the end of the night to the beginning.  Know what type of blanket your bottom uses to wrap themselves in to help bring themselves back to reality.  Make sure you have water or your favorite sports drink to rehydrate after, even if you think you aren’t going to be physical, you will have a heightened heart rate, which will make you sweat.  Have time to TALK.

Aftercare needs to happen for all participants.  Most people think only the bottom or sub needs to have the attention, but the Dom or Top needs just as much.  Remember, what happens is with all people involved- planning, activities, and the emotional strain, as well.  In a scene that has racial, taboo, or culturally sensitive overtones, that strain can be even more without you realizing it.  Aftercare is like dessert, and will only make the main course better, if you start on it first.

More on Aftercare here.

With these three ways to look at a sensitive or charged situation, I hope you can figure out how you might go at something that you are uncomfortable with and begin.

Have fun exploring your darker fantasies.

 

Miss R

The Slave Princess Chapter 14

Back to Chapter 13

 

It wasn’t that she felt better and could walk.  It was as if she didn’t walk something was going to happen.

Laun had woken at her usual too-early time having to roll out of bed and waddle to the privy.  She hadn’t really stopped since then.  Morning meeting was short as Laun was standing in place rocking back and forth, hearing that nothing really was pressing so she called out for anything that had to be dealt with right then.  Nothing did, so she grabbed her milk and started out of the Great Hall.

She did not walk fast.  People could find her for any problem or discussion they wanted.  She shared fresh berries with some of the people in the field as they pointed out a different way to plant for the next season to make it easier to catch rain water to irrigate.  She made it as far as the barrier across the main road, having help to climb as far up as she could to look over the logs and such.  She then headed back, out pacing a harvest wain for a few minutes.

It was mid afternoon.  Laun turned from the main gates into the keep and followed the wall around and back into the woods to continue walking.  Several of the horses were hobbled outside the temporary stables that had been put up in the old apple orchard.  Laun paused long enough to hold her hand out to several of the horses, their warm snorts making her giggle before she went on.

Hunter was sitting on a stump that had been dragged into the shade of one of the old trees.  He was polishing a piece of tack and looked up.  He took a moment before smiling.

“Haven’t seen you for a few days.  Thought I would come by and see how you were doing.”  Laun held out her hand and rocked back and forth as she stood a pace away from the ex-soldier. »Read More

A visual mini-session

You are early.

Miss R half shot in translucent black full body dress

You are early. I wasn't quite ready.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

»Read More

The Slave Princess Chapter 13

Back to Chapter 12

 

 

“I think you are having what are called soft contractions, Laun.”

Kell and Lucaris were looming over Laun in the bed.  Laun had been feeling odd for most of the morning, as if she was in need to pee, but then it would just stop.  A few times, it felt like she was being brought towards an odd orgasm that never really made it.  She mentioned it to Gem and she had found the healers.

“It may just be your body getting ready because it is early, but you may be going into labor.  You are going to have to stay-”

Laun pushed her tunic down and struggled to push herself up off the bedding.  “No.  My back doesn’t hurt and I can walk on my own right now.  I am not staying in bed because you hens think I might pop at any moment.”

The women healers looked at each other.  Lucaris softly put her hand on Laun’s arm and said, “If you feel as though you can’t walk or your water breaks, yell.  Someone will hear you.”

Laun nodded.  “At least here, they will.”

Kell colored slightly.  “That was a miscalculation on how sturdy you were, Laun.”

Lucaris looked at the other healer and squinted slightly.  Not getting an answer that way, the small shaman bounced once and was off the side of the bed, missing the lounging form of one of the wrestlers on the far mat and bounding over him.  “Well, if you are going to be wandering about, I think I will go and see how my herb hunters are doing.”

Laun sat at the edge of the bed and looked up at Kell.  “Assumptions.”

Kell squinted at Laun as Lucaris grabbed the empty water pitcher and left with it.  “Laun, I don’t understand.”

Laun shrugged.  “Most of the time, I don’t either.  And then I start annoying people with my questions.  I cut through the assumptions.”

Kell sat on the bed next to Laun and put her hand on the bare leg of the Princess.  “What assumptions do you need to cut through?”

“Not me.  You.”  Laun looked at the healer.  “I feel you need to ask me things.” »Read More

The Slave Princess Chapter 12

Back to Chapter 11 - The start of the Chronicles of the Midlands starts with The Slave Warrior Chapter 1

 

 

This day was when Falmir and Dreng were leaving.  They had tried for several days in a row.  Something came up each day, including a storm that wet the road too much to move the barricade.

Two groups were leaving.  One for Dreng and one for Falmir.  Soldiers and servants and nobles were mixed for each group, many of them very sad to be leaving the Salam-Dir lands.

The older nobles were mostly going with Dreng and his wife.  Most of the younger nobles were going with Falmir.  The Officers and soldiers were split between the groups, leaving several squads from the Fourth stationed with their Princess.

Laun was on her cot in the Great Hall, still having problems moving on her own.  She said farewell to many of the people who were leaving, tears and kisses being given to nobles and officers alike.  Dougal stood next to Laun as the men went by to say their farewells, giving warriors grips and slaps on the arms and backs of those about to make the journey to the Capitol City.

The mass of people were out of the Great Hall.  The noise faded as they went through the different courtyards and out to the road.  The people who were left gathered together as if they needed the crowd to feel comfortable.  A few tables and benches were pulled over to near Laun’s cot, a sequestered small cask of hard cider opened and shared between them.  Even Laun had a sip as the tankard was passed.

The household was on it’s own again.  Changes were already being felt as the staff sat and just did nothing for the first time in almost a month.  The people who were staying were just a small fraction of those who had gathered there for a month, the household outnumbering them.

The troupe were staying for a bit.  Some of the men were taking to the training that the protectors were offering, some of the protectors learning some moves from the strongman and wrestlers.  Nan was up and starting on her forms between feeding the kid and sleeping.  She was already outpacing some of the sturdy men in the learning grove.  The other women protectors were also getting back into training, some with their newborns strapped to them. »Read More

The Slave Princess Chapter 11

Bak to Chapter 10

 

Please Visit the Tribute page to make sure the Web Mistress is well supplied with chocolates and other necessities.

 

Eight months.

Had it had been more? It was different with the twins.  Laun’s body had changed and grown and now was fighting her every time she wanted to do anything.

Anything.

Babies were not unusual for large households.  Having five babies born in a month was starting to put a strain on everyone’s nerves.  They had not lost any of the mothers, but it was close.  Blood loss was a fear for all the healers and they started asking for supplies.

As Laun lay on an improvised cot in the Great Hall during morning meeting, it was discussed how to get the supplies.  Some of the herbs they had on the land and Lucaris volunteered to teach anyone who wanted to learn how to recognize the plants they needed, her household apprentice smiling and nodding as the shaman talked.  The rest had to come from outside.

Outside was not as scary as it could have been.  More messengers and people were coming from the outside, most with good things.  The false King’s messengers had reached their people and had been sent back with more messages.  Neither claimant seemed to want to fight.  Something about seeing one of the messengers being thrown into the back of the wagon stark naked made both of the men emphatic about keeping the peace with Falmir and the Salam-Dir household.

Peace from Rosemond was also claimed by several messengers over a week’s period.  Individual nobles who had the Rosemond Mercs on their lands all said that they did not have good ways to send the men home and were using them to help with the first harvests.  Laun was not the only one to give it credence at arms length.  But the messenger from the Ambassador was back with a note saying that the Rosemond people were scheduled to leave at the end of the season and that any military action was not condoned by the Rosemond council or Monarch.

The Midlands’ Ambassador to Rosemond himself showed up at the barricade around Salam-Dir.  Launs uncle was left outside as others were brought in until Falmir could convince Laun that he was on Midlands business and needed to come in.  Laun was not happy, but she had some consolation when she saw how ragged he looked.  Heran bowed to her and then knelt to Falmir, pledging himself to his King and Kingdom.  Falmir and Dreng then took the man aside and talked with him as Launs medicine took ahold and let her rest without too much pain.

Falmir had surprised Laun with a Mason and his crew.  They came in and started to work immediately, claiming that the quarry that was on the land needed to be cleared for more stone cutting and that the silt from the volcano was perfect to make the mortar needed for the keep’s repairs.  Laun was not able to go and see what they were doing.  Laun assigned Ali to keep an eye on them, and told her about the peridot.  Ali was to gather any of the crystals she found as the masons’ people gathered silt and bring them to Laun. »Read More

The Slave Princess Chapter 10

Back to Chapter 9

 

The Great Hall was full for morning meal and meeting.  It was hot and stuffy even before the over one hundred people crammed into the room.  The rain that had come the day before had wet down everything but had gone without giving enough water to feed the fields.  It had been just enough to make a little mud and then float back into the air making the heat worse with the humidity.

The messengers were being sent back out that day.  Not all of them, but the ones that had been kept overnight in the outlying tent, a squad of the soldiers on duty to keep them...safe.  

The false king’s men were being sent back out with scrolls denouncing the false kings and copies of the documents reinforcing Falmir as King of the Midlands with Dreng as the Council Commander.  The noble was not happy, but he was doing his duty to the man he thought was the right King, as appointed by the three people left of the Kings’ council.  It had been pointed out to him that not only was the council not Mildands people but the man they had appointed was himself half Rosemond on his mother’s side with only a shade of Midlands nobility in him.  He left, much to think about on his journey back.

The other false king’s man was not surprised when he was given the scroll to take back.  He had been a servant pressed into the role of a messenger and he had not thought it was a good idea.  He did it and he was happy that he had his own life, and his own horse, as he passed the night and readied himself for the journey back.  He even confided in the Princess that his master had heard rumors that his son was of Hawkwell blood, but now that the servant had seen the Hawkwells, there was absolutely no resemblance.

The Ambassador’s man was sent out with a token payment of a gold coin.  It was a Rosemond struck coin and he saw the irony in it.  A message to the current Ambassador from Rosemond asked for just a little time to sort out the problems with the other claimants.  A hint was dropped about the massing of the troops and the man was surprised when it was mentioned.  He seemed apologetic and said he would bring it up with the Ambassador as soon as he was back at the Embassy. »Read More

The Slave Princess Chapter 9

Back to Chapter 8

 

The room was cold.  One candle burnt on the wall and some light came in under the one wooden door, but the light was enough to see around him.  No windows, a few columns and...  He turned on his back onto his tied hands and bumped into a wall.  No, not a wall, part of a stone box.

An altar.  His head spun, but he was able to bring himself to his knees and then his feet.  To look around.

It was cold and he shivered as he paced around the stone floor, seeing nothing that could be used to cut the rope that bound his hands together and his arms to his body.  He stopped at the door and heard a slight scuff of someone trying to stay awake while on guard.

There was little he could do.  He still shivered and could not tell how long he had been asleep.  She had drugged him.  He smiled at that.  It seemed as the poison had been working on her, she stepped around his defenses and took him down when he was not looking.

Blue Master had not given the Princess that much credit.  The old lady had given him the paper already tainted and some information before the half payment.  It seemed to go very well, even with having other messengers to travel with for the last day.  They all had been derisive of King Falmir and the whore daughter he had found.  It was rumored that she was pregnant, but it was not something that Blue Master had mentioned. »Read More

The Slave Princess Chapter 8

Back to Chapter 7

There were soldiers standing in ranks around the tent as Laun rode up to it.  There were servants under one of the trees in the verge several leagues from the tent, milling about but looking as if they could be ordered at a snap of a finger.  Laun guided Grace to beside the other horses and sat for a moment, deciding.

There was a call to salute and Laun looked up.  She saw that it was for her so she saluted back.  She unhooked her knees and pushed herself slightly back in the saddle.  She held out a hand and several of the soldiers came forward to help her down.

She had just her tunic and loincloth on, the straps for the sheaths plain on her legs.  She swung her leg over and let the men help her down, a knee from one of them kneeling supporting her as she stepped down.  She motioned to the pack that was strapped to the saddle and it was untied for her.

Laun pulled on the skirt that she had draped over the font of the saddle and it fell into her hand.  She pulled it up and tied it and settled herself, bringing her braid to her front with the clapperless bell tied to the tail.

“Please,” Laun said quietly, “tell Falmir that his Thorn is here for his pleasure.” »Read More

The Slave Princess Chapter 7

Back to Chapter 6

 

The other two messenger teams came back, also with all their members and with extra supplies purchased.

The morning meeting was going on when the teams arrived.  A small cheer was led as they came in, their packs and cloaks dragging on the stone floor beside them.  The riders were tired and looked like they had all been riding hard through the night.  The meeting was opened to the reports of the messengers and it was mostly happy reports made.

There had been a road washed out for one of the teams which delayed them.  The other had been delayed after they had been stopped at the gate into the Capitol City, the guard suspicious when multiple teams had come through saying almost the same thing.  The soldier of the team was able to convince the commander of the watch that all had been real and that it was just a precaution because of weather and possible rebels. After most of a day.

The salt pigs that each of the messengers carried back to the keep were heartily accepted by Orgia, the few oils and spices brought back also with an open hand.  They had not taken much with them as far as monies went, but the salt and oils were going to help keep the household running for just a little bit longer.

One of the protector teams handed Laun a small pouch, a few baked goods inside.  Laun saw the grey ribbon and the claperless bell sewn on the end as the tie of the pouch.  Laun nibbled on one of Marie’s travel cakes and offered some to those around her until Geralk was able to take the last, and the pouch with the sewn coded message in it.  There was a finger under Laun’s bottom lip for a flash, a responding one back from Geralk, telling her he knew it was to be kept secret, whatever the message was. »Read More

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