Miss R's quick tips for Pro Doms
I have been in and out of the Pro Dom thing for many years. It depends on what is happening in my life, and how my social life is doing. That sounds odd, but if I am doing well socially, I am doing well as a Pro Dom.
There are a few things I have picked up over the years that help me in my day to day dommish things. I hope that this is not too rambling.
Get a membership in a 24 hour gym. One with many locations and affiliates is better. A 24 hour gym allows you to clean up and change before or after a session without having to go home. Or use the client’s facilities if it was not part of the negotiated scene. If you had to travel a ways, having a gym that can let you use their water to clean up is a good thing.
Along with a gym membership, have your workout bag with you if you can when you go to a session. Keep an extra set of clothes with you, like a long dress or scrubs. You can throw this on or over what you are wearing to keep decent, or to get into something clean, even if you are not using the gym.
Be open about where you are going to the people you live with or who care about you. Have a check-in time to let them know you are good and safe. Having to lie or cover up what you are doing never works out.
Know what you are doing, and along with that, do not be afraid to say you do not have experience in something. If you do not know about an activity, look it up, research it and let your gut tell you whether or not you are willing to do it. Be careful and-
Don't be afraid to say, "No." It is not worth your health, life or reputation to let yourself be forced into something you don't wish to do. Be straight forward with who you are dealing with, as in, try not to couch things in too many qualifiers such as 'maybe', 'perhaps' or 'I'm not sure'. This leads to pushiness on the client's part which can lead you into doing things you shouldn't.
Have a backup plan. No matter what you are doing, plan on an alternative. If you are traveling to the other side of town to see someone and they either don't show up or it doesn't work out, know a place you can hang out at for a while to make the trip worth it. If you plan on doing one type of scene, make sure you can do a different one without the key items needed for the planned scene. Have a plan on getting home or to a safe place if your transportation fails you. Always have a plan B.
Know others in the Pro part of the scene. There are times when you may need to get out from under an appointment, or a client. Being able to refer to another Pro is a good fallback. You can set up 'Double Dom' sessions and get referrals back, too.
Allow yourself to have time to deal with the mental, emotional and physical aspects of your own Aftercare. Aftercare is important for your client, but if you don’t take care of your own needs, you will burn out or be unsafe to be with your clients. You are a professional, but the does not mean you are a machine. Understand that a good scene or interaction has impacts on your psyche as much as the bad ones do. Try not to let bad scenes, and the aftermath, overwhelm you. Know that you will get through it, and onto the next thing or client. It just may take a bit to balance yourself.
There are many other things that being a Pro Dom entails. This is but a small portion go the things I have learned over the years.
Go out and make the world kneel. I’ll bring the floggs.
Miss R from The Leathermines
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