Return to Chapter 50
Three days. Three miserable days. With three wakeful nights.
Laun was much more careful to get out of bed on the fourth morning. The morning before, she had felt better and had pushed it, finding she was on the floor and calling for help. She was taking it much slower this morning and was glad that the cane was leaning against the bed.
She was starting to like the pampering that being laid up in bed brought her. It was the need to get to the privy that made it annoying. That and not being able to do everything she wanted.
Being forced to be in bed did allow her the time to read. She had a stack of books and papers that were next to the bed, both on a night table and on the floor. She had to hobble around the stack on her way to the bathing chamber. The things she was learning was bursting through her skull, making some things clearer to her, clouding things she thought she knew.
Laun held her tummy as she relaxed and then pushed slightly to relieve herself. The babies were starting to show individuality and she could tell when one was awake and the other one wasn’t. This morning, both seemed to be awake and pressing against her innards. She was certain it was because of them that she had developed her hard bowel movements. They were packing it down in her to make more room for themselves.
Laun heard a noise in the bathing room and held still. It was a bare foot on the tile and it paused outside of the slightly open privy door.
“Your Highness?”
Laun smiled. “I shall be out in a moment, sir.”
The older man’s voice was slightly relieved as he said, “I do not wish to hurry you.” She heard his feet pacing sightly.
“Alsen, it’s easier if I know someone isn’t waiting.”
The General chuckled and said, “I’ll wait in the bedroom.” Laun heard his steps fade.
He had been a surprise. Every afternoon, he had stopped in to check on her. They had played a partial game of Sticks, discussed a strategy for bringing Falmir to Salam-Dir, even talked about some of the trade issues the Midlands had been having even without Laun’s influence. The night before, he had just not left. They had shared a meal and continued to talk. Hunter had come in, hoping for Laun’s attentions after his days duties and had been shooed out by the General after a few minutes.
It finally occurred to her that he might have been looking for something other than conversation. Laun had been blunt with him on many things in their discussions. She was yet again when she had asked him if sleeping with her would violate any vows he had.
Laun remembered his face. He tried to feign shock and then laughed. Gem had to hide her own laugher as she stood at the wall. Alsen had shaken his head and said that his wife had died years before and he did not have vows but the vows to service the Kingdom. Both of them had raised eyebrows and then laughed at that.
There had been a change in the conversation. It became explicit, the General telling of some of his sexual exploits, almost like he was bragging to a fellow soldier. Laun did not have the experience in telling of her sexual exploits, but she picked one about one of the noble women she had been with in the Palace and that seemed to push the evening over the edge.
He had not been extremely good, just moderately good. He complained that he was rusty. Regardless, the rust came off his tool several times before he fell asleep next to her. He snored and took up a good major half of the bed, but it was good to have someone with her.
Gem and Hazalam had been sleeping just with each other. Laun was uncertain why until she saw Gem break down and her man was able to comfort her. There was grief and Laun could not tend to her girl the way Hazalam could.
Laun was done, cleaned herself several ways and was standing against the stone tub when the General poked his head back into the room. He made a nod to her and strutted to the door of the privy, the lengthy wet sounds and sigh that came out making it obvious that he had been holding more in than he wanted her to know.
Alsen looked almost happy as he came out of the privy. He looked at her, squinting slightly. He did not try to cover his nakedness, though the fur he had on his chest and legs was almost enough to qualify for a winter outfit. He came to her and looked at her skin.
“I saw some last night, but Lady! What the fuck? You didn’t tell me about these...” He put his hand on some of the harness scars and traced them roughly with his palm.
“You asked about the battle scars, sir, not ones from equipment, or my own clumsiness.” Laun put her hand on his to stop him from pushing her into the tub.
“It looks like you have been recovering more than you have been living.” He stepped back and took in what he saw.
Laun was feeling self conscious with the scars and the stretch marks and the weight she had gained because of the babies. She felt herself flush and put a hand to her face.
“You aren’t going shy on me now, are you?” The General had a derisive tone in his voice. He put his arms across his chest and put his weight on mostly one leg as he continued to look at her.
“No. I just don’t like what my body is like right now. I hate that I can’t fit into any clothes, though I would rather not wear anything at all. But I don’t like how I look and my strength is gone and I can’t even get to the Great Hall without being carried.” Laun shook her head and looked at her belly. “It’s just... I don’t know.”
The General nodded. “At least you aren’t weeping in corners like my wife was. A woman like you-A warrior like you has the strength to get through anything, and your body is built for having children. I wouldn’t want to go through it.”
“I have reason enough without the babies to be weeping in corners, General,” she quipped. Laun had a rush of anger and then closed her eyes to try to calm herself.
Laun heard the concern in his voice as he said, “Your Highness, you have my condolences for Ithian.”
Laun looked at him. It was not her usual stare, but she had her eyes on him and she did not say anything for a moment. “What shall you give me for the others who died by the assassin’s blades? Or the members of my family who I have lost while I had been imprisoned? Or those who I could not save though I was in the keep with them as they were slaughtered around me?”
His face did not exactly close, but she felt he knew, understood, what she was trying to say. “Your Highness... Your loss has been an extreme one. Please do not punish yourself for the deaths you could not prevent. We will be having you escorted soon, now that the cease command has been sent.” He stepped forward and showed more compassion than before in his hand on her elbow, moving her arm into a warrior’s grip. “You will be home soon.”
Laun held his arm and felt him loosen his grip before she let go herself. “Thank you, Alsen.” She was going to say more, but the babies moved and kicked and she suddenly had to pee again.
The General laughed at Laun’s cursing and helped her hobble back to the privy.
It was as early as Laun usually moved from bed. She was feeling good enough to try to push her body and do some of her exercises. She did not feel as though a full routine would be kind to her, so she started to stretch when she was off the pot again. The General saw what she was trying to do and lent a steadying arm and joined her with some of the stretches.
Alsen was grunting as his legs were not letting him move in the way the pregnant, wounded woman with him was doing. “Fuck you, Highness. Have you been faking?” There was a smile on his face and in his voice.
Laun pulled on him and forced the movement in him and said, “Can’t keep up with me? Don’t be a piker.”
“Enough. I would court marshal you if you were under my command for embarrassing an officer.”
Laun stood and breathed in deeply before saying, “I thought that was what I had done last night...”
The General stood, gasping and laughing. “I should get back and let my command know I wasn’t kidnapped in the middle of the night.”
Laun started to make a salute and found that she was in the General’s arms. He was not the most passionate, and was uncertain around women, but when the thought struck him, he forced the field. He held her and kissed her and his rusty tool was shaking off it’s corrosion again.
“Yes. Sir.”
He helped Laun back into the bed chamber. She was on the edge of the bed, about to crawl further in when he stopped her. “How is your back doing, really?”
“I don’t mind an extra hour of bedrest for something.”
He was tall enough that the edge of the bed was just above his crotch level. He pulled her back to the edge and over onto her back. Her butt was just over the edge and her legs had to go over his shoulders to help support her. He rubbed and then slid in, the grunt she now knew coming out of him when he reached the full depth of his shaft.
He was holding her legs, pushing into her and looking at her eyes. She knew that he would not last long, but it did not matter to her. It felt good and, in his own way, he was being very respectful.
Then she heard voices and footsteps. “Fuck!”
“That’s what I’m doing, Hig-” He heard them and grunted out, “Fuck!”
“Oh, and it’s Falmir, too. Fuck me, Alsen. Fuck me!” Laun was not one to talk while having sex, but she felt it was needed, and a little command voice seemed to push him faster and almost over the edge as she told him to fuck her and let loose in her.
There were knocks on the sitting room door. It was answered after a few moments. There were multiple voices and they did not leave. Laun saw the concentration on the General’s face as he was almost there but just couldn’t seem to get over the edge. Laun did not have as much strength as she would have wanted, and the position was slightly awkward, but she squoose her muscles and moved her hips as she could.
The General’s face contorted and he was trying to keep his mouth together so that the grunt he had would not come out. His hands pressed into her legs, his fingers gripping in hard enough Laun knew there were going to be bruises. He gasped and held his breath again, holding himself still as the last of his orgasm washed over him and into her.
He was breathing hard. He was trembling. He was leaning into her legs to keep himself upright. He looked up as the curtain opened only enough to let Gem through.
“Mistress, your father wishes to know if you are well enough to have him attend you.” Gem had a few pieces of the General’s uniform under her dark green tabard and brought them over. “He apologizes that not everyone he wished to have in his escort is with him, as the General seems to have taken an early morning walk.” Gem started to spread out the General’s uniform on the bed next to them.
Laun tried to catch her breath. “I seem to have gotten myself into a bit of a predicament here, Gem. If you would find me the only tunic I have that seems to fit, now that, ah!” The General slid out of her. “I, um had the last one cut to pieces.”
Gem handed the General a cloth and he made a few swipes at himself and then helped to push Laun back further on the bed. The cloth was put between her legs and she sat, giggling.
“Lady, would you like help to the privy?” Gem helped to support Alsen as he put his breeches on.
“I was able to hobble there earlier. I may need a bath, if Kell will permit it.” Laun held the tunic for him to slip into.
He forced the jerkin on and leaned in for a kiss. He whispered, “I feel like a shave-tail with the Captain’s daughter.” There was a smile and another kiss. He grabbed his boots and belt and went to the door. Gem opened it slowly for him and he was outside.
Laun pulled on the tunic that was hanging over the edge of the headboard and picked up a book from the stack. She nodded to Gem and the book fell and the door closed at the same time. “Damnit! I lost my place.”
Laun started giggling which gave license to Gem to giggle. Laun fell back onto the bed and started to laugh.
There was a clearing of a throat and Falmir was in the archway. “What is so funny, Thorn? If I didn’t know better, I would say you just snuck someone out.”
Laun tried to hold the laugh back, but when the sitting room door had a knock on it, the guffaw she had rolled out. She rolled to the side and brought her legs up when she felt her back start to twinge, but she could not stop laughing.
Falmir was at the side of the bed and put his hand on her leg. “Well, I know who it isn’t. Sergeant Hun-Kan is waiting with the Captain.”
Laun was gasping and smiling up to him. “He’s not the only one I have slept with here, you know. In fact, you may be the only one-”
He pulled back slightly but did not take his hand from her leg. “Little minx. Get up. We have your triumphant return to coordinate.”
“Yes, sire.” Laun pushed herself up and found Gem with her cane ready for her hand. As she moved, she felt a tremor go through her and had to hold still for a moment. She tried to pass it off as pain, not the pleasure it was, but her flush gave her away.
Falmir held out his arm. “I hope you didn’t break whoever it was.”
She smiled and winked. “You didn’t give me enough time.”
There were many men in the sitting room when Laun was escorted in. The ones not standing stood and most saluted her. She gave a sloppy salute back and put her hand back on Falmir’s arm. “Please, sit. Actually, someone may have to stand.” Laun was placed in one of the leather upholstered chairs, a cup of water in her hand.
Laun noted that Captain Leon was amongst the men with her. She motioned to him and said, “I hope that my people weren’t too hard on you.”
He had a redness along his collar, but held his temper in check as he said, “If it wasn’t for them selling us supplies, we wouldn’t have lasted through the storms, La- your Highness.”
Laun again laughed. “Remember that we in the Midlands have compassion for our adversaries, especially when we can rub it in.” The Captain nodded and looked away.
“Daughter, that is not kind. Funny, but not kind.” Falmir leaned on the back of the couch, looming over the General. The General had a flush to his face, but his uniform had been put on perfectly and his short hair had needed nothing to look right. Falmir sniffed once and his eyebrow went up.
Laun smiled and turned to the Captain picked to lead the escort. “I am not quite there, but could be ready to leave within a few days. What are the plans so far?”
He did a bit of a bow to her and started listing the supplies and equipment he meant to bring for the several day journey. Laun listened and drank her water several times over. She was thirsty. When her stomach grumbled, the Captain had an odd look on his face as he continued with an admonition that they really should have more men for the escort...
A roll with butter on it was handed to Laun. She ate as Hun-Kan started in with asking for slightly different supplies for the mounts than the Captain had listed. There was a bit of back and forth until Falmir cleared his throat.
“As the trainer, go with his recommendations. The carriage horses can eat the same as the chargers for a few days.”
“Though, sire, depending on the route, I know of an Inn that has had a good supply of feed in the past, and it is about one hard day’s ride away, a day and a half if we stop and camp.” Laun tilted her head at him.
“An Inn partway through would be good for the trip.” Falmir nodded his acceptance of the idea and the Captain took the lead from his King.
More planning led to some informal talk when Falmir decided that he was bored and left with the General in tow. The Captains traded a few notes, Captain Leon being red under the collar more than once when he had to describe how the Salam-Dir people could walk through his ranks but they couldn’t get any where near the barricades. Laun was smiling and letting the homesickness go through her as she was remembering each of the people as she had last seen them, and how she missed all of them.
The Captains excused themselves for midday meal. Hunter was the last of the officers still with Laun. He stood behind her and rubbed her shoulders, being careful around the tooth marks that were still red in her skin. Laun relaxed into his hands and wanted to tell him about who he was going to meet at the household. She did not know how he would react, and if Fount was even still alive.
That was a thought she had suppressed before then. The shock of the thought could be felt in Hunter’s hands and he stopped.
“Laun? Are you well?”
She leaned her head against one of his hands and made a negative grunt. “I’m scared of what I will find in my home. Or more to the point who I won’t find.”
“You’ll know, soon.” He continued to rub and then stopped again. “You know the General could be court marshaled for sleeping with a royal.”
Laun quoted something from one of the law books she had read, saying, “Only if the royal was found to have been in a compromising position that would effect the security of the Kingdom of the Midlands, or, in case of a maid, that her virginity had been forcefully taken and she had been impregnated by the offender.” Laun looked up. “Too late on both counts for me.”
Launs head went to the side, leaning on his hand for a moment as she said, "I am glad that you haven't been hauled away and hung for being with me. Though there are companion dispensations for-" She felt him squeeze hard for a moment making her quiet and turn slightly to him.
Hunter came around and knelt, coming eye to eye to her if he leaned down slightly. “Your brain will pop if you keep reading those dull law books. Come and lets get some food.”
Laun leaned over the chair arm and kissed him on the cheek. “Your place or mine?”
“I hear there are fresh breads in the Great Hall.”
It was a long walk to the Great Hall, but Laun only had to stop and rest a few times. There was a good mix of people, the soldiers standing and saluting when the call went out as she passed the threshold. Laun saluted back and went to the first open space she saw in the tables.
Sweetmilk was presented to her and a small plate with various breads and toppings was slid onto the table. The people who brought her the food and drink disappeared into the crowd before she could thank them. She shared food with Hunter as some of the entertainers came to her and started to do things to amuse her. The one noble daughter followed the troupe through the room and sat to watch the acrobat, a few too many glances telling anyone who was watching there was something between them. That was amusing to Laun, too.
While the troupe was trying to be entertaining, several soldiers came to Hunter, having low words with him. Most of the talk seemed to be questions of the Sergeant with negative answers for most, the soldiers making sloppy salutes if any at all before leaving. At positive answers, the soldiers would properly salute and go away seemingly happy.
Laun’s interest was piqued. “I haven’t seen you get so many inquiries before. What...?”
Hunter looked at the shredded roll he was holding but not eating. “They are volunteers for the escort. I told most of them that they would be more appropriate to escort the King when he goes to Salam-Dir. For some reason, they don’t like that answer.” Hunter’s subtle eyebrow and twitched corner of his mouth told Laun there was more going on.
“What are you setting up?”
He smiled and looked her in the eye. “Something I hope will please you and your...appetites, your Highness.”
Laun smiled and then the smile lessened as she said, “I hope you don’t get into trouble with the Captain.”
“He’s the one who said since I was requested by you that I should keep you...occupied...on the trip.”
Laun was not sure how she felt. He was being loving and trying to give her experiences to make her happy. Though, he was planning something that he had not discussed with her. Was it something that could make them vulnerable if Engrid went after the escort and herself? Was it something that was going to make her too tired to travel? And, though Laun felt it sweet, was he planning on pulling back from his slightly possessive ways and be able to share her? If it was sexual?
She sighed after considering these thoughts, and more. “I trust you will keep me occupied. I look forward to seeing what you have in store for me.” She put her hand on his arm and said, “I just hope you are saving something for yourself.”
He smiled and ate some of the torn apart roll.
There was a bit of a fuss at a doorway into the Great Hall. Laun was able to turn without her back hurting to look. She turned back again and wished she was wearing a soldiers uniform or the bright colors of the entertainers. The Bishop made his way to where Laun was and stood behind her. She could hear his breathing, like an asthmatic bull, some of the sects Holy jewelry clacking together as he waited for Laun to turn.
One of the acrobats saw the look on Laun’s face. There was a small signal call from him that Laun recognized and was about to tell them no when one of the strongmen tossed one of the other acrobats over the table to land next to the Bishop. The priests scattered and the troupe started to play games and make fun of the Bishop. Laun still did not want to turn around, but had to when the laughter from the crowd started up.
Adelmar was making his way through the troupe as they spun and twirled and pantomime genuflected to the Bishop. The red in the face of the religious man was starting to turn purple. Adelmar took his hat off and tried to bow to the pompous man.
“ENOUGH!”
At the shout of the Bishop, most of the troupe just stopped what they were doing, some falling over to the floor in the position they were in. There was some laughter, but it quieted as the Bishop looked around.
Adelmar’s doddering was more pronounced with the self depreciating air he was trying to give. “Good sir, I do apologize for my people. We do like to have a little fun-”
The Bishop drew himself up, his white garb dazzling to the eye within the crowd of black-clad soldiers and the blue and grey servants. “Leave me be or I shall have you thrown out of here, stripped of-”
Laun had stood, her arms over her chest, her eyes blazing at the Bishop. “You will do nothing of the kind.” Her voice was not loud but it cut through his.
The skirts of his overly gilded tunic brushed the dry rushes covering the floor to the side as he rounded on her. “You, whore, shall not speak to me!”
The room quieted. It had been fun watching the annoyance of the Bishop and the leader of the entertainers try to make peace. No one dared to speak as the two forces of will stared at each other.
Laun had not talked with the man fuming in front of her since she kicked him out of her room. Falmir had told her that the Bishop can become single minded, but that he would not be bothering her again. This was bothersome.
“What did you call me?” Her voice had dropped but was sharply heard in most of the room.
He tried to draw himself up more as he said, “Whore. You sleep with men you are not married with and have a child to be born out of wedlock. You are a whore.” He tried to use his booming voice to push her into submission.
Laun took in a breath. “You are wrong. I also sleep with women I’m not married to.”
There was a pause and then a roll of laughter. The Bishop looked like he wanted to explode his face was so purple from rage. “Heretic! Whore! You are going to hell! I swear you are all going to Hell!” he bellowed over the laughter.
Laun’s voice had to raise some, but was still quieter than the Bishops forced bellow. “You first.” Laun found she was saying what she did not want to say. “You do know she was only twelve, right?”
The troupe turned and looked at one of the tumblers and then at the Bishop. The fun was gone from their faces as the small, colorfully dressed girl curled up and tried to hide behind one of the soldiers in the crowd. Every one of the men in the entertainers suddenly turned into monsters in their faces and the angles of heir shoulders. The women had daggers and arrows coming from their eyes and would not let the Bishop live if they were to get ahold of him.
The rest of the room quieted as they realized what Laun had said, whispered repeats and fingers pointed at the young troupe member.
The Bishops’ face dropped and he could not make noise out of his now pale continence. He backed up a step, almost tripping over one of his priests. Several of his men stepped aside, not wanting to be associated, but finding that the other men in the room were not friendly, pushing them back towards their religious master.
Laun pointed to the door. She did not say anything, but the Bishop turned and almost ran out of the hostile crowd.
One large breath was taken by everyone in the room. The change from silent to talking and cheering was deafening and made Laun stagger slightly. She suddenly sat down as she tried to breathe herself, pats on the back and warrior’s grips from some of the people around her setting off small pains. She saw the young tumbler surrounded by the women of the troupe, both murder and nurturing aimed at her.
“Have I mentioned how much I don’t like him?” Hunter could hear her only because he had his arm around her to ward off the back slaps and she was close to him.
“You don’t have to like him. No one really does. I have avoided most of the blessing ceremonies for the troops over the years because of him.” Hunter gently squeezed her and said, “I never thought that he would be taken down so easily.”
Laun looked at him, not quite a glare, not quite pleading. “I wish I didn’t know some of the things I know.”
The Sergeant saw she was in distress, her energy level draining. He took her in his arms and a call went out through the crowd to make way by the soldiers. A squad formed around Hunter to bring the woman in his arms out of the suddenly boisterous and crowded room.
Laun was awake and aware while in Hunter’s arms, but she was not very responsive. The squad was dismissed as Hunter came to the corridor with Laun’s rooms. He put her down and she leaned on him to walk the rest of the way, but still did not say anything.
The three knocks on the sitting room door were sounded, but Laun did not wait for the door to be opened from the inside. She pushed it open and held up her hand to Hazalam standing on the other side. She headed through and to the bathing chamber, going into the privy and closing the door behind her. It was a small and darkened room and she could be alone.
Yes, she had to pee. She had to poo, too. She also wanted to be alone so that she could not hurt anyone else.
Laun strained slightly as her bowels were being danced on by the babies, but it was not as hard to push as it had been. She thought of what she had just done with the Bishop, ruining the man in the eyes of the people who were in that room. Destroying him when they start to talk to others who had not been there. Crapping on him just like she was crapping in the privy. It had been much easier to do it to him.
There was a light scratching on the door. Laun did not answer. They knew she was in there. They knew...nothing of what she was feeling.
“Mistress?” Hazalam’s voice cracked slightly. “Mistress...? Do you need anything?”
Laun did not answer. Not vocally. She reached over and locked the door.
She heard voices muffled on the other side. Laun leaned on the tile shelf where the basket of fresh cloths and paper flowers were. She started to sob. Her body was doing better, not as much strength as she wanted, but little pain. It was the mental pain of potentially killing someone’s career and reputation that had brought the Darkness out of hiding and was trying to eat at her. The anguish was overwhelming.
If she could so easily do that to someone she did not really know, even if she despised him, what could she do to someone she did know and possibly liked? She might do it without meaning to, ruin someone, cutting them down with a word. She had done that unintentionally with the Corporal, but it was her body that had felled Aloen.
It occurred to her that her body was controlled by her mind.
Laun could not stay in there for too much longer. Her butt was starting to hurt from being on the hard seat and it was getting cold. The smell was not pleasant, either. Laun wiped and cleaned herself and stood, feeling the tunic rub along little scabs on her belly and arms. The knives in the assassin’s hands had come way too close and she had to remember that it was not just her in her skin. But-she was the one who had to deal with what had appeared to her in the night.
She leaned on the door. She missed Ithian. She missed him to the point she expected him to saunter in, his immaculate hair and clothing shining right before he would get a small smile and the tunic would come off. Another tear fell for him, and Laun knew she would be grieving for him for a very long time.
Laun put her hand on the lock. She did not want to see anyone, face anyone. She had to. She had to get back up and continue the dance. She unlocked the door and it opened without her turning the latch.
There were worried faces looking at her. Laun waved Hazalam’s hand away and walked slowly to the bed chamber. She went to the bed and leaned against it, trying to think of anything but her so-called talents. It was what she was. She pushed herself up onto the bedding and pulled the heavy quilt over her, the silk sheets pulled with, but still under, her and the quilt.
She was left alone. They knew enough to let her lay in the bed while she was being quiet. There were tears, soaking the pillow dragged to beneath her head. Laun tried to sleep, to see if that would help the internal pain, but she was thinking too much. She did not like thinking any more.
There was a knock. Laun heard voices. She heard footsteps. Laun pulled another pillow over and onto her head to block out the noise, and the people she knew were going to be staring at her.
There was a hand on her leg. It was the heavy hand of Falmir, trying to be gentle. Laun pushed the pillow harder into the side of her head and closed her eyes tight, even though she could not see anything.
“Thorn...” Falmir’s voice was muffled, but she could hear him. “Please. Can we talk?” Laun raised her hand from the pillow and made an obscene gesture.
Falmir snorted. He grabbed the quilt she was in and started to pull it towards him and off the bed. Laun’s hands went out to hold onto something when she found she was sliding across the mattress, the silk sheets acting as a fabric lubrication under her. The pillow was off her head and she had to deal with life again.
Falmir towered over her as she lay on the edge of the bed. “Thorn, the Bishop came to me.”
Laun sighed. She pushed herself up, feeling her belly fighting against her. “How shall I apologize to him, sire?”
He held out a hand and helped her sit up. “um... He came to me to seek forgiveness.”
It took a moment. Laun felt her face scrunch up with the confusion that was rampaging through her. “He... Forgiveness?”
Falmir’s smile was wide. “It took a while to figure out what he was talking about. I had to send for Adelmar who told me in no uncertain terms what had happened in the Great Hall.”
Launs head went down and she looked at her hands on her belly. “I was angry and I wasn’t thinking-”
“Thorn.” His voice was strong but not loud. She looked up and he said, “The Bishop would like to meet with you and apologize.”
“He has to do so to the child he took and her family.”
“He has already done so. Expensively, too. From his hand to Adelmar’s, I saw a pouch with twenty gold along with much more silver plate. They are set for quite a while.”
Laun had a flush of anger but she let it cool before saying, “Not as cheap as I thought her virginity would go for.”
Falmir had a sour look and turned away. “You always go to the sore spot, don’t you.” He bumped his foot into one of the stacks of books. “Do you want to take some of these with you?”
Laun shook her head and saw he did not see her motion. “No, thank you. I have been recently told my head will explode if I continue to read them.”
“The Bishop is waiting...”
Laun’s head turned towards the archway. “Royal graciousness can bite my ass.”
“Laun, please. I’ve known for a while about rumors. He seems serious about his apologies.”
Laun nodded. Falmir’s arms were around her to help her into the other room, though she really didn’t need it, he seemed to need to help her.
The Bishop stood from the couch and faced the archway. He was alone. He also did not have his cowl on. His feet did not have the soft boots. He was wearing just the white tunic.
“Your Highness...” He was not used to having to talk to people as the supplicant.
Laun stood and put her hands over her belly. She looked calm, an icy look in her eye. “Please, continue.”
The man’s face twitched. “I had meant to have a word with you in the food hall before the...commotion. A message came back from the Capitol City that the Ambassadors body was being taken to Rosemond. The staff of the Embassy wanted to know if his wife-if you wished to have any of his things before their priests reblessed the building.”
Laun felt cold and a small sob came out. “Thank you. There is nothing in his house that could take his place.” Laun flashed on the glass rose, but she would not mention that. “And...?”
He looked at his hands, the white bands on his fingers showing where his chunky jewelry used to be. “Your Highness. Please accept my apologies for causing a scene earlier and for my comments to you.”
Laun breathed for several breaths, seeing the old man start to sweat. “I accept your apology.” Laun had more she wanted to say, but to keep herself from causing more problems, she turned and went back into the bed chamber.
There were low voices in the sitting room. The door opened, there was a pause and then the door closed, quietly.
Falmir poked his head through the curtain and saw Laun at the vanity. She was looking at the cut end of her braid, tears streaming down her face. She leaned forward and put her face in her hands. Falmir backed out and stood, listening to the sobbing from the other side. He knew she had a facade, some of what she said and did for effect. What he heard was pure from her heart and it made to break his.
The large man went to the other side of the room and motioned to the servant. “You came with her from the Palace, right?” The man nodded. “Is there anything you can think of that will console her?”
Hazalam shrugged. “My Mistress has moods, but I have found she needs to work through things on her own.”
Falmir nodded. “Take care of her. I’ll be back later. I hope she will be well enough to see me.” His eyebrows furrowed together. “Sending her to the Salam-Dir lands might be the only thing.”
Hazalam nodded. He followed the concerned father to the door and opened it for him. The door was closed quietly behind him. The assassin was also concerned. He had seen her as many things: interrogator, lover, confessor, child, leader... But, the grief she had for Ithian made her the most vulnerable in his mind. He was not sure if he wanted to protect her more or if he wanted to cut ties and run. He had seen her come out of depressions, doubts, before. This was deeper. It was clouding everything she had. Even Gem had pulled herself up and was now more stable than their Mistress was.
Hazalam had not heard a sob for a while and went to the curtain. She was combing out her hair, her eyes closed. She was thinking and he knew that she was working out some of herself. He did not know all of the internal scars she had, but from what he had seen, and heard her talk about, Hazalam was not surprised that she needed time to fight her own deamons.
Her eyes were open and looking at him in one of the mirrors. He had not been paying as much attention as he thought. She had not changed the stroke of the comb or the tilt of her head. But the eyes were looking at him, a sharpness in them.
“If possible, my quail, I would like to have one last walk among the grounds. I think we will be leaving tomorrow.”
Chapter 52 - on the road, with some comfort
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