the Leathermines

<--------Chapter 46

 

“And-tell me again how this happened?”

Laun had cold cloths on her shoulder over strongly scented salves.  “Ali and I were out riding, she was showing me some moves and there was an accident.”  Laun looked at Lucaris and didn’t blink, until the healer lifted one of the wrists.

“And this?”

“From the sex.”  Laun did not like to lie, but thought putting some distance between the sex and the shoulder would put Ali less in the line of fire.  She saw both the start of a smile and the start of a scold on the healers’ face, but neither of them came out.

Instead, Lucaris asked, “Was it good?”

Laun looked away.  “Yes, until my mind turned it into a nightmare.”

“Has it gotten worse?”

Laun shook her head and then nodded.  “It was the circumstance...  I was...at the peak and there was a shadow and my mind turned that into someone attacking.  Ali took care of me.  She always will.”

Lucaris’s head snapped up from the cloth she was rinsing.  “She?”  Her voice got quieter when Laun nodded.  “She?  That is a well kept secret.  I thought you had just misspoke the other day when you were coming down with the sickness.”

“I just found out a bit ago myself.”  Laun’s cheeks flared pink under the tan.  “She is...different.  But very good.”  Laun looked up and said, “Want to borrow her?”

It was the first time she had ever seen the shaman flustered.  Laun had seen the healer angry, bossy, concerned, critical...  Many things over the last few months.  The without-words just with her jaw working was almost comical.  The healer finally got out, “No one has ever offered me something like that before.  It isn’t against my vows...  Since she is a she...”

“Should I ask Ali, then?”

Lucaris had an unfocused look in her eye for a moment and then was in the present again.  “Thank you, but not right now.  To be honest, I want my husband back from the errand before delving into such...pleasures.”  Lucaris smiled broadly.  “But, I am very tempted.  Thank you.”

To have a little privacy, Lucaris had brought Laun into the bathing room for treatment.  Ali had been shooed out because her hands kept getting in the way.  Lucaris packed up her things and headed for the door.  She opened it and Ali was instantly on her feet on the other side.

“Treat her shoulder gently.  You did a good job of getting it back in, but I am concerned that things may have ripped in one of the back scars. Oh-”  Lucaris put her hand on Ali’s chest, “Go gently with her in other ways, too.  If you think she may need a sleeping drought, come to me.”  Lucaris perhaps let her hand run over Ali’s chest a little more, a little longer, than necessary as she walked past.

Ali went to Laun and stood.  She just stood, a sad look on her face as she looked at the cold cloths on the shoulder.

Laun put her hand out and it was in Ali’s instantly.  Laun winced and Ali almost let go.  “No.  It’s the wrists. Um... Perhaps we should clean me up.  I don’t think Orgia had seen me, and she was on a roll today...”

Ali held out her hands to Laun’s feet.  She helped to take the boots off, almost a pleasure to Laun as, even though she had been wearing the boots for two days, they still had been  mostly comfortable, with no wear on her skin.  They both had to turn away at the smell, though.

“My Lady.  Are you up for a bath?”  Ali tried to hide the disgust in her face, but the voice gave her away.

“And you muck out stalls...”  Laun nodded and Ali went out to talk to someone about hot water.   

Laun was able to get one of the socks off and then the breeches down by herself.  The other sock just was out of reach from her good arm.  She was thwarted and had some nervous energy from her attempt.  She started to do some stretches and dance moves but found she was very stiff and slightly unbalanced.  The injuries, the sickness, they all were working against her.

There was the bench she had been sitting on.  She used it to stretch out her legs, finding that her hips were stiff and sore.  She switched back and forth between them, holding the wet cloths to her shoulder with her good arm.  She stood up from one of the stretches and backed up into someone.

She reacted and dropped them with a leg sweep without realizing she was doing so.  Edgar swore as he hit the floor, his arms going out to his side to try to take some of the impact.

Laun was on her knees next to him.  His hands went up and he said, “Just surprised, my Love.”  He rolled to his side and went to touch her cheek.

The flinch she could not cover.  Her eyes turned away and she said, “I had a waking nightmare.  That’s what led to the shoulder.”

Predictably, Edgar gently touched Laun’s hand near her wrist.  “This was caused by...?”

Laun looked up, but not quite into his eyes.  “The sex.”  She looked fully into his eyes and said, “I don’t want pain.  It keeps happening to me.  Not just this.”  Laun held up the wrist, the dried blood flaking around where the ointment had not been put.  “The stuff inside.  Because I hurt inside, I hurt people outside.  I hurt you.”

Edgar slowly moved to touch Laun’s face.  She pressed herself into his palm and he stroked her skin.  “There is nothing I can really say or do to help the internal pain.  But I hope you know that I am here for you.  And not just me.  The household.  Dreng, even if he is an old coot.  You are not alone.”  He moved and put his legs on either side of Launs holding out his arms.

Laun fell forward and his arms gently went around her.  He kissed her forehead and said, “So...  Who were you with?”

“Do I have any privacy?”  Laun had a small smile.

Edgar narrowed his eyes.  “If he is the reason you are injured-”

Laun leaned up and kissed him.  “And if it was a she?”

Edgar’s face went through an odd contortion.  “I didn’t think of that.”

Laun nodded and started to get up off the floor.  “It was Ali.  And, no, she did nothing wrong.  I just reacted...badly.”

Edgar stood beside Laun and looked like he wanted to turn away.  Laun had an unintentional outside flash of the emotional hurt that she felt as his body turned.  Seeing it, he paused and turned back.  She put her hand on his chest and held onto the tunic with her free hand.  “If Ali is the worst problem between us, I will be happy.”

He gently put one arm and then the other around her.  “I am finding it hard to accept when you are hurt or sick, no matter who it comes from.  It isn’t Ali.”

There was scratching on the door and then several people came in carrying pots of water.  Ali was there and saw that Laun still had one of the socks on.  She went to her knees and held out her hands, waiting for Laun.  Laun used Edgar as support and lifted her foot.  Ali supported it and the sock was off.  Ali kept her eyes turned slightly away as she stood and stepped to the side.

It was not unusual for Laun to have her men in with her as she bathed, or her in while others bathed.  The servants and staff paid little attention to who was there, but did push Edgar away as they washed and rinsed around the wet cloths on Laun’s shoulder.  They guided her to the tub and only filled it part way.  The cloths that were supposed to cool were warming, the servants replacing them and trying not to wipe off the ointments below.  

She was clean of body, but still felt unclean within.

There were noises in the corridor leading to the bathing room.  Happy noises that were made by many men.  Laun was not as quick as some, but she said, “Hunters.”  Edgar moved slightly and turned to the doorway.  A few of the women in the room stepped to the tub’s side and held out supportive hands when it looked like Laun was going to try to get up.  Ali went to a pile of large cloths and unfolded one, bringing it up between the opening door and the tub as Laun stood.

“Whoops!  Occupied!”  Dreng was closing the door again on the scene.

“Grandfather!  I was done.  Don’t go.”  Laun was out of the tub and the large cloth was wrapped around her, a drape of extra cloth over the hurt shoulder.

Dreng led a few of the nobles into the bathing room.  Laun sat on one end of the bench and saw the swirl of women around the men.  Edgar and Ali also helped with taking the belts and boots from the nobles.  Dreng had little to say about how much, or how little, clothing he had on in a short amount of time.  He was being lathered and scrubbed as the clothing of the other nobles was being taken from them.

Laun saw a scar on Dreng’s back.  It was old and blended in with the skin, except for the puckering along one edge.  Dreng was turned and saw the Laun had been looking at him.

“Not bad for someone my age?”  He sucked in his gut a bit and postured.

“I was wondering about the scar on your back...?”

Dreng’s hand went to it.  “That was a cold day.  The battle of Myrned Pass.  We had gone into the Myrned lands to escape some of the stronger of the battalions our foes had sent against us...”

Dreng went on to describe one of the last battles he had fought in when bringing the Midlands together.  It had been a very loose kingdom before that, the Hawkwells being reigning leaders for generations in name only.  Dreng had been pushed into action when one of the Landed nobles had decided that he was powerful enough to be the king and had laid siege to the Hawkwell estates, killing Dreng’s father and making him king at the age of 20.  Once the fighting had started, it did not stop until Dreng had pulled out a win that had most of the kingdom decimated, but unified.

“...and Colleen, your Grandmother, for months would poke me in the back to remind me to look before jumping off a horse again.”  Dreng had taken most of his bath to tell the story, including naming names of people who were long gone, places that had been renamed or razed in the battles.  Laun heard some sadness and knew he understood some of what she was going through.

Edgar had his arm out for his Majesty as Dreng stood up for a final rinse in the tub.  The next man did not wait and was almost up to his neck in the water before Dreng was completely out of the tub.

Laun stood and said, “Well, I believe that there may be too many bodies in here.  Thank you for your story, Grandfather.  I hope that the hunting today was good - and you can tell me and the rest of the household later, if you wish.”

Dreng held out his hand to Laun.  She went to grasp the hand, but he pulled her to a warriors grasp, palm to elbow.  “We hunted.  We were able to get some game, and perhaps some information, too.  And that is for later.”  He leaned over and kissed her cheek.  “Now, sweeting, you had better get out of here before these men explode from embarrassment.”

That was when she realized that most of the men had been either draped in cloths like she or were keeping breeches and boots on.

“Right!  That reminds me, where are my boots?”

Ali had the boots and nodded to Laun.  Laun made a curtsey to her Grandfather and left, Ali closing the door behind them as she followed.  It was cold in the corridor after being in the steamy bathing room.  A short trip through the laundry and Laun felt better.

The Great Hall was full of activities.  From the people who had been inside and doing busywork to the people who had just come in from the hunt, it was loud and rambunctious.  There were still staves with water fowl waiting to go into the kitchen hanging between several tables.  There was also a boar and a stag lying on tables.

Orgia was both delighted and dismayed at the amount of meat that had just come in.  She was delighted that they had not been gutted and cleaned in the field as the internals were useful for so many things.  The dismay came from some of the same reasons, as she did not have anyplace to hang the stag to let it drain and age inside the keep.

Laun came up behind the chatelaine who was loudly complaining about the lack of space.  “Another reason to have the tent up...”  Orgia turned and was about to say something when an idea struck her and she smiled.  Without another word the older woman went through one of the kitchen doors, a call from her to one of the staff getting eaten by the noise in the Great Hall.

The noise was getting a bit much for Laun.  She greeted many, touched shoulders, was given the warriors grip more than once.  She held back her pain with the smile clenched on her face.  She made it through and leaned on the stone wall of the corridor for a few minutes.  Ali stood and blocked a few people as they approached, the tiredness and pain on Laun only coming through after they paused.  Most nodded and continued on.  The shaman did not.

“And what did she do to herself this time?”  Pillar was standing in front of Laun before she knew he was there.

Laun put her hand on her shoulder and said, “Lucaris has seen it, taken care of me.”  The long tunic sleeve fell and she knew the next question and answered it with, “Ask her about that, too.”

Pillar offered an arm and Laun took it.  They walked towards the sleeping chamber, Ali trailing behind.  The protector team at the door of the chamber both smiled as Pillar approached, one going inside.  Lucaris bounced out and almost avoided Laun as she went to her husband.

Since she could not avoid, she included, blocking Pillar’s arm from Laun’s shoulder by putting her own arm around her Lady.  Pillar’s warmth surrounded them as he embraced and was embraced.  Lucaris broke the embrace before she wanted to and pulled him into the room.  Laun did not follow as she did not want to be in a room that could be close to death.

Ali was still there.  Laun started to walk towards the tower and Ali was there, a few paces behind.  Laun wanted to be away from people.  To be as alone as she could be in the keep.  She slowly went up the stairs of the tower, pausing at the landing before going to Lady Hellon’s Room.

Laun caught herself again.  It was her room.  As much as anything really was hers in the Salam-Dir household.  She saw that the door was propped open and looked in.

It was in process of being changed over.  There was still little in the way of furniture and the walls still had just the stone, but Laun saw that there were different things being placed in and being arranged by several of Orgia’s staff.

The bedstead was too large to move.  It had been stripped of all the bedding and left in place, the wooden slats showing the floor beneath.  It had looked like a huge wooden skeleton when Laun had been up there before.  There was now a thick mattress being swung into place by several people, another mat being put on the floor to either side.  Laun wondered where all the bedding was stored, but she knew that Orgia had ways of making things appear.

Ali quickly looked around and picked up a flat topped chest, moving it to be against a wall.  Laun was escorted to the chest and sat, Ali sitting next to her on the bare stone floor.  Ali still held the boots and absently picked at some of the mud along the heel.

Laun had always enjoyed watching other people.  If they were good at their job, she learned things.  If they were not, she learned what not to do.  As she was watching the staff bring her room up to having people in it again, she learned how the pillows were made from a core of braided horsehair and five or six layers of cloths folded around the core and then a final feather quilt under the linen case.  She learned that the bedstead had a little step that pulled out at the end if the hope chest was moved.  She also found that there was an arming tree being moved in, the red velvet dress and its’ armor layers being displayed on it with several ornamental knives and the brass chest piece.

Ali glanced up and saw her Lady absently touching her breast where the scar was.  She looked at the brass chest piece being hung over the red dress.  The light caught the velvet beneath the tear in the metal which made it look bloody, as if the talon really was tearing into the brass.

The rest of the room was not finished.  Not by any standard.  But Laun was thinking to herself that whomever had planned that display knew how to make it her room.  Lady Laun’s room.  It was on the wall that the Castle and the Orchard tapestries had been.  Laun imagined them being there, behind the dress, and found it was both appropriate and not.  There would need to be wall hangings to help with the cold from outside, but not those ones.  Perhaps blue, plain blue to go behind to be dramatic...

Ali could tell that Laun was hard at work thinking of something.  Her head was tilted slightly and she was tapping out some sort of rhythm with a finger.  The stablehand looked in the direction Laun was and watched as the dress display was finished off with a small sword in a new sheath hung from the arming tree at what would be hip level.

“His sword...”  Laun got up and went to the display.  “May I...?”

The servant took the sword off the tree and handed it to her Lady.  Laun held the sword and sheath as if moving it would make it shatter.  She looked at the leatherwork set into the wooden body.  The Salam-Dir household emblem was just below the lip and what looked like possibly feathers along the edge carved into the wood.  The clasp holding the sword in was made of two leather straps that came down to the emblem weighted down with heavy shaped metal, almost the shape of the bird’s foot on the top one, a metal disk on the other.  The way they set, the leatherwork and metalwork blended when it was closed.

Laun carefully removed the sword, the new sheath tight and showed on the lip where there was oil to let the sword move in and out easier.  Her shoulder twinged and she looked for a place to put the sheath in her right hand.  Laun went to put the sheath on the floor and Ali took it, hanging it on the tree on it’s place.

The sword had been old when she had it thrust upon her.  She had carried it through rain and sun in a potato sack.  She could see where the mud had corroded some of the blade.  She saw where blood had stained the haft.  The pommel had a chunk taken out of it and Laun had a flash of when she was defending herself in the cave.  If he had been just a touch higher, she would have lost a finger.

She thought it had been lost.  She had not seen it since it had been stored away in one of the fake-marked chests Marie and Markle had sent with her.  She hadn’t thought of it in months.

The sword had been cleaned, polished and sharpened.  It was her first sword.  Her first weapon.  She had a thrill go through her as she remembered the first time in the cave.  The bloodlust, the drive.

“Yes.  This is what I need to do.”  Laun took the sheath and carefully replaced the sword.  She kissed her fingertips and put the sword on it’s place, stepping back to look at the display.

Dress.  The beautiful, heavy dress.  Brass.  In belt and chest peice, the color playing against the red and gold in the velvet.  Knives, the ones that went into the dress and a few more that had been found in the things being stored from the room after Lady Hellon had passed.  It all looked so beautiful, and deadly.  Laun thought hard about what that would mean.  And what it did mean.

Lady Laun turned to the staff who had put the display up.   “Thank you so much for your work.  This is a wonderful way to be able to see this.  All of this.”  Bows and curtseys were given to Laun as appropriate.  The servants went to other duties in the room and left their Lady looking at the display.

Ali was behind Laun and saw the glow her Lady had started to have.  Looking at the dress, the sword, had brought something out in Laun that had been missing for a while.  It is what Ali had been trying to bring out earlier and failed.  The stablehand looked at her feet and waited for Laun as her own self doubt and recriminations were swimming about in her head.

Laun was too focused to notice Ali’s posture, her attitude.  She was touching everything on the stand, worried that she was going to knock it over.  She gently stroked the velvet.  The cold brass belt and chest peice swung slightly after she touched them.  The knives were lined up on the tree in a column to show off the decorations on the pommels.  Laun touched each one, marveling at the craftsmanship on each one.

She went and touched the onyx one again.  It was not exactly faceted, but the design was not smooth.  It was also shallow.

Laun looked up and was distracted as she saw Ali.  The way she was standing, not looking at Laun...  Ali had been doing the same sort of thing since they had gotten back to the keep.  But the stablehand had also not left her side except to get the water.  Silent.  Attentive.  Avoiding.

Laun asked, “Ali, could you bring me a lit candle?”  She watched as Ali did as she was asked, not asking why, not looking up from the floor more than she needed to.  Laun accepted the candle in the wooden candlestick from Ali’s hand.

The candle was a soft tallow one.  Perfect for what Laun wanted to do.  She held out her hand and started to drip wax into the palm.  Ali started to go for the candle, to pull it away, but Laun was not flinching, was not seeming to hurt, so Ali stopped herself.

“Please pull the knife with the black onyx in the pommel, would you?”  Laun almost had enough wax built up.  She handed the candle back to Ali and took the knife.

The impression that Laun saw in the wax was not one she was expecting.  It had taken a moment for the still soft wax to harden around the stone and then a few flicks of her finger to get the wax back off again.  When it was free, she was looking at a bird holding a sword.

This was one of the symbols she had made her learned people and Geralk show her when she studied some of the household emblems after she had met Jake.  It was not a household symbol as such, more of a guild emblem.  A very specific guild that no one outside of the greyworld should’ve known about.  The Assassins.

Laun closed her fingers around the wax and broke it.  She put the knife back into its sheath. The wax pieces were tossed into the brasier, making the coals flare for a second under the grating.

Laun tried to look like she had seen nothing.  That the possibility that her Lady had been part of the Assassin’s guild...  A few months ago, Laun would have said it was impossible.  Enough had happened, had been shown to her, that Laun could accept the Assassin’s symbol at face value.

Ali had not seen clearly what the design was.  The way Laun had destroyed the wax instantly made her think that it was something with a bad memory attached.  Ali was tempted to hide the knife, take it out of Laun’s seeing.  But she saw how, even though Laun may not have known she was doing it, that she had lingered after sheathing the knife, and her fingertips went to her lips.

“What is planned for this area?”  Laun was talking to one of the staff.  She was pointing to the wall with the windows.

“Orgia had told us to bring up table and several chairs.  As a seating for you and guests.”

Laun nodded.  She paced out the area and looked around.  “I know it is not quite what our chatelaine wants, but please have the table and chairs in this corner.  Yes, I know she will say there isn’t any light.  A lamp will have to be added.”  Laun paced the area again and said, “Do we have a floor covering about a pace by four paces long?”

The staff looked at each other and one of them nodded.  “There is the rug that had been around Lord Vemi’s bed before the roof collapsed.  I think we still have parts of the runner.”  Without pausing, he nodded to Laun and ran out of the room.

Laun turned to the rest of the staff.  “Has the armory been resupplied?”  Several nods answered.  “If someone could bring to me several of the wooden practice swords.  About the same size as my sword.”  Laun motioned to the arming tree.

One of the women went, leaving only a few staff in the room.  “Thank you all for your work here.  I really am looking forward to what Orgia has in store for me, whatever it is.”  Laun smiled and the others returned the smile and then returned to replenishing the room.

Laun turned and looked out the window.  She could see the sun was getting low in the clear sky, a few darker clouds showing on the horizon.  The wave in the glass masked the area below the windows, but Laun knew that there were the courtyards and then the road and then the woods.  She could see part of the roof over the Great Hall.  The Hill was beyond the wall, the big tree very small from her vantage point.  She had thought she would be able to see more from the windows, but she was not as far up as she thought.  The night and rain had let her imagine.

As the reflections in the night had shown her an aged and somber woman, the reflections in the day showed her something else.  The eyes she saw looking back at her briefly were more alive, brighter.  Her decisions had brought her some peace, even with the nightmares still reaching out from the corners of her mind.

As the night reflections had shown her a man who had come for forgiveness, she glanced and there was a reflection of the same man standing in the doorway, flanked by two protectors.  Laun turned and looked at him.

He was holding a small casket in his hands.  He was trying not to look at anything but Laun, and failing.  His eyes were darting around the room and his head turned more than once to check if the guards were still there.

Laun leaned on the stone casing of the window and crossed her arms, carefully.  “Sanreas.  Why do I have the pleasure of your company?”  Laun heard the slight venom in her voice.

He stepped into the room and held out the casket.  Ali was there and took it from Sanreas’ hand and held it for Laun.  “Geralk asked me to bring this to you.  It took a while to find you, Lady.  You seem to be everywhere.”

Laun smiled and tilted her head in a nod to him, keeping her eyes on him.  “Thank you for this.”  Laun motioned and Ali put it down on the floor next to the wall.  Ali was still kneeling at Launs feet and Laun used her stablehand’s shoulder as a stable point as she stood, her shoulder hurting when she put too much weight on it.

“Sanreas...”  Laun wanted to ask him something, anything, to keep communications going.  It really wasn’t what she asked, it was how he responded, reacted that seemed important.

He made a slight bow and said, “Yes, my Lady?”

Laun motioned to the protectors and they left the room, standing just outside the door.  The staff followed and Laun could hear a footstep that had been approaching quiet.  The door closed and they were alone.  Laun ran her fingers through Ali’s hair and felt the slight tremble under the skin.

“Sanreas.  I am afraid I have not treated you well while you have been here.”

He shrugged and said, “If you had not taken me in, I don’t know where I would have landed.  The company had been traveling for weeks looking for his Majesty.  We had nowhere left to go.”  He went down on one knee.  “Lady, if I had not mouthed off and caused your displeasure...”  He looked like he wanted to say something but it would not come out.

Laun waited.  She watched as he first flushed and then turned pale as he kept his eyes on her.  She tried to have a mild smile on her face, a bland look in her eye.  She tilted her head to the side and she saw him twitch.  Laun continued to run her fingers through Ali’s hair, finding it calming.

Sanreas’ head went down and he looked at her feet.  She saw his eye flick to the casket and back.  “Lady Laun.  I thank you for your hospitality.  I thank you for your protection.  If you need anything from me, please do not hesitate and I will do my best for you and yours.”

Lady Laun stepped forward.  She took a moment and then held out her hand to the man knelt in front of her.  He took the hand and kissed the back of it.  “Thank you for your attendance.  You are welcome to stay through the cold.  I am assuming there have been plans made to leave with the fighters when spring comes, if the fight does not come to us directly.”

Sanreas looked up and nodded slightly.  “There have been rumblings, Lady.  But many of the men do not want to leave, as you have been warm and kind...  And the women are, um, also welcoming.”

Laun gently pulled her hand back and then up to his cheek.  “We do have our charms.”  Laun stepped back slightly and motioned to Ali for the casket.  “Lets see what you were so diligent in finding me for.”

Ali brought up the casket and held it so only Laun would see what was in it.  There was a small grey ribbon held across the opening with wax.  Laun broke the seal and opened the lid.

Inside, there were a few river stones and a piece of paper.  Laun looked at the stones and tried to nod sagely as she took the paper in hand.  She opened the folds and found just a few words written on the paper.  Laun’s eyebrow went up.

“Well, that changes things.  If you could tell our List Master that I understand and these will come in handy.”  Sanreas stood and took that as a dismissal.

He left, taking the guards with him.  The staff had gone to get more things and came in to continue reappointing the room as they returned.

Laun sat on the flat topped chest.  Ali turned, still holding the casket.  She lowered it and glanced in.  She tried not to look confused when she saw common rocks in the casket.

Laun reached out and Ali handed the casket to her.  One more glance at the paper and it went into the wooden box, the lid being closed gently.  Laun really wanted to explain to her kneeling Ali, but she couldn’t.  She held her hand out and Ali went to her side, putting her head in her Lady’s lap.

It was both good and bad that she now knew that Sanreas was not the one leaking information out to Falmir’s people.  It was unfortunate that it looked like more had been leaked.  But she had found that she liked the taste of squab.  Another squab dinner would be nice.

Laun was absently stroking Ali’s head, thinking of little and big things while using the motion, the warmth, to calm herself.  She watched the table and chairs being put into the corner.  She watched the rolled rug being laid out under the window.  She saw the blankets and quilts and sheep hides being put onto the bedding.  Her eye kept on going back to the dress on the arming stand.

The arming stand represented both the past and the future.  The things from her past, but not the color.  Bright red.  Her past had been dominated by Peach, her color chosen by her Dance Master and her name because of it.  Not quite strong enough for her now, but it had been what she was then.  But the red in the dress, the dress her mother had worn, armored at the side of Lady Hellon, was strong.  That was what she had to be.

Laun noticed that the staff was done with what they were to do that day.  They all came to her and she held out her left hand to them, touching and being touched as they left.  Laun had not realized how quiet they had been while working.  Now that they were gone, even the rustle of cloth or the slight scrape of wood on the stone seemed loud.

Laun closed her eyes and enjoyed the silence.  She could hear her own breathing and the shallow breathing of her boy...  Even though Ali had accepted that she could be a woman, she had not really embraced it.  There was a rightness of just being there, Ali’s head in Laun’s lap, but the labels of self and others were floating through the silence, trying to attach themselves.

She looked down and saw Ali’s eyes were closed.  Her head was turned away, but the side of her face was up.  Laun stroked some of the hair away from Ali’s face and gently ran a finger along her cheek.  The eyelids fluttered slightly and Laun thought she felt a sigh come from her.

It was a pleasant moment.  But, as it were, her bottom was starting to tell her that sitting on the chest was uncomfortable.  And her shoulder was starting to sing out for attention.  And her lower back...

Laun ran her hand through Ali’s hair again and tugged a little.  Her eyes opened and she sat up.  Her eyes went down to Laun’s feet as she knelt next to her Lady.

There were so many things going through Laun’s head.  Most of them she did not want to focus on.  She had to do something.  “Ali, would you help me up?  My back is telling me something I would not like to hear from it.”

Ali was on her feet, her hands out for support.  Laun took the advantage and after she was on her feet, put herself between Ali’s arms.  Her shoulder hurt, but it was a needed thing to embrace Ali.

There was a breath in and Ali was frozen in place for a moment.  Then her arms were around her Lady and a kiss on her lips as she held and was held.  Ali was a little taller than Laun and when her Lady’s head turned to lay on Ali’s shoulder, her cheek rested on the top of Laun’s head.

Laun relaxed in Ali’s arms.  She had not known how tense she had been.  She felt Ali’s breath quicken slightly and then a sigh.  Laun did not know how to tell Ali more than she had already that Ali had been forgiven for anything she had done, but Laun could feel Ali had not forgiven herself.  She was hoping that the sigh had been an acceptance if not forgiveness.

They pulled away slightly and another quick kiss was exchanged.  Laun’s hand went to Ali’s cheek and she smiled.  Ali was looking into her eyes for the first time since they had gotten back from the hut.  Ali tried to glance away but Laun forced her face back and made her lock eyes.

Laun saw a softening in the eyes, a small smile on Ali’s face before she lowered her hand from her boy’s cheek.  “Would you escort me downstairs?”  There was a not so subtle glance over to the bedding from Ali.  Laun felt her insides give a little pulse at the idea, but said, “If there was time before evening meal, yes.  I want to have enough time with you, not just a thrust and sigh as we go our ways.”

Ali flushed.  “Yes, Lady.”

Onto Chapter 48