Fact Sheet - AfterCare

When thinking of the Fantasy of an encounter, whether it is a mild flogging, being dressed in the opisite gender's clothing or a haqrdcore sexual humiliation sceene, the Fantasy usually ends with an orgasm, a fuzzy "it will be great" or "Then we go our seperate ways". Reality intrudes on so many levels that the ending of the encounter is almost an afterthought in planning. That can be a mistake.

The after sceene time is usually refered to as "Aftercare". Different people need and want different levels of aftercare and that can change from scene to scene as well as day to day. It is needed to let the people involved check how they are doing physicly, emotionally and mentally before going into any other activities. Pushing yourself or your partner to do something right after a scene can be hard and can make the other person feel stressed in ways that can break a relationship.

Many people believe that aftercare is only for the sub or bottom. I do not believe this is true. The person leading the scene, the Top or Dom, can need a period of time to cool down, cuddle, be alone or whatever to recenter after a scene. If you are that Top, think about your needs for after the scene before it happens.

There are times when a scene feels great and is working out wonderfuly until just after. This can mean that aftercare should have been included in the negotiations. Aftercare is something that needs to be negotiated as much as the sceene it's self. If you are dealing with someone who does not 'do' aftercare, make sure that you take care of yourself or have someone else available to do so.

Aftercaare can be as simple as a hug to reconnect as people and freinds and as complicated as blankets, showers and a nap. If you haven't had a scene yet or you have had the after scene let down often, think about how you like to be treated or pampered after you have orgasmed or worked out for a lengthy time. That should tell you what you may need for an after scene 'cool down'.

Now that you have read thru this, what 'Aftercare' questions should I ask?

Have you had or included Aftercare in sceenes before? yes, no, haven't had a scene yet

Who do you prefer to administer your aftercare? self, partner, somone else, haven't thought about it

What do you need or think you would need for your aftercare(you can have multiple answers) Blankets, hug, sitting, being alone, shower/rinse off, alcohol, screaming, crying, cigarette, massage, other

Have you had instances where you needed Aftercare that you did not receive? yes, no, haven't had to think about it