« Posts tagged Miss R

Variations on a theme

February 3, 2023 / posted in Stories / No Comments

Variation 1

This is my initiation. I am to prove myself tonight. The instructions are simple, really. All I have to do is stay quiet until someone comes, then when that someone comes, do what they say. Not hard.

The problem is the wait. I don’t know how long it will be. How long it has already been.

I’m tied to a table, and there’s a bright light shining on me. I’m blindfolded, and it’s incredibly hot under this light. 

That is, until a gush of cold water pours down on me. The sudden chill makes me gasp, gives me goosebumps. Heightens my awareness of the physical. 

It’s almost exquisite, feeling the cold slowly burn up in the heat of the lamp, feeling myself getting warmer again, though my nipples stay erect this time.

I’m straining to hear any noise, when another rush of cold water startles me. This could get torturous really quickly, I decide, as my bladder reacts to the chill, signalling its need. Ever noticed that when you have to pee, things are that much more erotic?

I’ve warmed and been chilled yet another time, when I hear muffled voices. 

“Close your eyes,” comes the familiar voice of the one I’m trying to impress.

I hear a door open, and footsteps. At least two pair of feet there.

The new person remains silent, and my lover says, “Open your eyes,” there is a slight pause. “Have your way. Whatever you do, I’ll do to you.”

I wait, tingling for some touch, when another rush of water elicites a chuckle from the new one.

Variation 2

We reach the bottom of the steps, and you pause in front of the closed door. Your eyes twinkle as you look back at me with a raised eyebrow. I can’t resist, and lean forward to kiss you.

The kiss is heartily returned before you pinch my ass and lean away.

“Are you ready for this?” you whisper in my ear, causing the hairs on my neck to stand on end. Not to mention the tingle down my spine.

I push my pelvis into you and whisper back, “I’m always ready.”

You chuckle, sending another shiver down my back, “Close your eyes.” Your voice was oddly loud, commanding.

I raise an eyebrow and obey.

I hear you open the door. The air rushing out brings me a whiff of your scent, strong and oh, so inviting. It is warm air. This basement is not any usual cold dank dungeon of a room. 

You take my arm and lead me gently into the room. Once you stop, I can hear your ever so slight sound of pleasure, “Open your eyes.” Again commanding.

I do, and am greeted by a very brightly lit scene. A slave on a table, tied down, blindfolded. Nipples erect, and smiling slightly, head tilted toward us. 

I notice water dripping from the table, and am caught up in admiring the smooth skin, glowing under bright light. 

“Have your way,” you gesture toward the figure “Whatever you do, I’ll do to you.”

I am very amused, and let you know it with a smile before moving silently forward to take a closer look.  

I reach out to touch the glowing skin, when a bucket of water dumps itself over the table. The slave gasps, obviously very turned on, and I chuckle. This is going to be interesting.

Variation 3

The scene is set, everything is perfect. I have a new toy and an old lover that are going to meet this night. After a dinner frought with sexual tension, I lead my lover to my newly established dungeon.

I’ve got it all set up. The slave is tied to the table. Buckets of water balance overhead, on timers. And I know my lover is going to get a kick out of my plans. I’m not going to hate it either.

Leading my lover down the stairs, I get a tingle of doubt. Maybe they won’t like it. Pausing at the door, I know they will. I turn, a devious grin on my face. My lover matches the look and kisses me deeply. We’re both ready to go right there, I can tell. But patience is a virtue. Especially tonight.

I feel my lover’s slight intake of breath when I whisper “Are you ready for this?”

At the answer, “I’m always ready,” I have to chuckle. Ne’er a truer word spoken.

I harden, watching my lover’s reaction, “Close your eyes.” I’ve never commanded this lover before, and want to make sure it’s not going to cause problems. 

A slight raised eyebrow is the only reaction, prior to closed eyes. Good. This is going to work very well, I think.

I turn and open the door, surveying the scene. The slave is there, on the table, much more excited now than before. Perfect. 

I lead my lover in, choosing my distance carefully. I pause to admire the new slave. Great arms, nice musculature, and perfect skin, freckles and all. Turning to my lover, I again command, “Open your eyes.”

After a slight pause of taking in the scene, my lover’s face is lit up by a wonderous smile. This just keeps getting better. “Have your way,” I say, gesturing, “Whatever you do, I’ll do to you.”

My lover gives me a challenging look, as if to say, “Really? We’ll just see about that.” And takes a step forward. Perfectly timed, the last bucket empties its contents, drawing a chuckle from my lover, a gasp from the slave, and a smile from me. This really will be fun.

Adventures in Marketing

August 19, 2020 / posted in Article, Uncategorized / No Comments

Oh, The Horrors!

O.k. I have gotten that out. Mostly.

Here I am, a writer, a chef, a racecar driver, a Dom, and the pandemic has taken most of my creative interpersonal time away. I can cook, but I cannot be with the person I cook for, enjoying them savouring what I provided. I write and post, but I cannot go to my favorite Saturday writing spot to have copious amounts of coffee and conversation between typing random words. Racing? It seems like it would be safe, except, the paddock has people wandering all over, the Grid has the workers and drivers in a confined space, and what if there was need of an emergency vehicle?

And then there is being a Dominant. Yes, lots of that is mental and emotional, but without the physical contact, much of it lays flat.

SO, what do I do? I start yet another page on another website.

>insert forehead slap gif here<

You might have noticed, if you follow me on Twitter, Gays.com or other places, that I now have an OnlyFans page. Yup. This squishy, old, ffffff pale person now has started to put pictures up on another website. And, gasp, have people paying her for it! But, I made a mistake. I pushed to have a subscription form too early. I now know that once a subscription is in effect, people do not see the 'free' content.

>insert I Haz A Sad gif<

So, I have to actually market myself. I... Just don't know how to do that. I have a presence on many platforms, some vanilla, some not, but how to entice people to look at boobie pics?

>insert Dog Head Tilt gif<

I have years of pictures, and now have started to take more.  Past the modesty aspects(Me?) and to the technical aspects, Marketing is...  invasive at best.  I am not a Fortune 500 company that has people placing branded items in movies or billboards on Times Square.  I am not a person who likes getting 3 marketing emails ads a day from companies(looking at you, Overstock), so why would I send out that which annoys me?  I am not always UP and DOMLY and dressed in SKIMPY things, so I really cannot be ON whenever someone messages me if they seemed intrigued with something I posted.

I am happy to have a small following right now.  To make it so that I do not drain my base there, I need more people to look at and then find worthy of their finances to subscribe or tip.  As a moderate FinDom, I have a few people who have pledged to me or sent me tribute in the past, but I know everyone is having a TIME right now, and I don't need the income from the OnlyFans page, but I do want to reach more people so I can entice and titilate with my offerings.

>insert I See What You Did There gif<

So, I am posting on the various social networking sites I use, and have had some success.  I try to follow other peoples' modesty guidelines, for I have little for myself, and hope that what I do post gets them to at least check it out.  Hey, you came here and read this, didn't you?  And if you did, please give me a mention on the site you linked from.

 

Thank you for your time.

Miss R

Web Mistress of the Leathermines

>insert Bow Before Me gif<

 

 

Why Miss R is  a Dom

July 31, 2020 / posted in Article / No Comments
Miss R sitting, pointing to the floor

Good. Let's start. On your knees. Good Pet.

I call myself a Dom.  Not Domme, as many would prefer if they were showing as female.  I have a bit of a thing about the mispronunciation of Domme, as it is the same as Dom, not Dommy or other mispronunciation.

But that is not why I am in the position I am in.

When I was young, and finding that the various Kinks in BdSm were not just interesting, but what I wanted in my life, I had a very big stumbling block.  I am older than most people really think, and at the time I was exploring what sexuality and Kink were, the media was against what I was.

I am a larger woman.  Have been for most of my life.  When I was starting in the community, I was underage and precocious.  This meant I would just do things to find out what it was like and be thrilled to ‘get away with it’.  BUT!  I also had the background of research so I would read and watch the media available at the time to see what things were ‘supposed’ to be like.  In the late 70’s to early 80’s this was primarily really bad porn, Gay magazines, or popular culture.  I was hardly represented in any of these.

I finally found some magazines that had women of my similar shape.  Doing things that were like what I wanted to explore.  Unfortunately, all the women who were my proxy were the slaves.  And I mean slaves.  Not bottoms. Not subs.  The only way a fat girl could participate, according to the media I was able to find, was to be completely subjugated and used.

I believed it.

And, as it happens far too often, a man who had proclaimed himself as a Dom saw that I was exploring, and took advantage of me.  There were a few discussions, a few sessions, and I thought what he was doing was what I deserved.

There weren’t any negotiations.  Everything that was done skirted every piece of safety I have learned since.  Including the psychological component he used to keep me in my place.

He was an abuser.

The night I changed how I was going to interact with the Kink community was the night I walked away from him.  Physically walked away.  With only a bathrobe around me.

He let me think that being a woman, I could not be in charge.  He made me believe that being fat meant I could not make my own decisions.  He followed thru by subverting the trust I had with him.  That symbol I had around my neck, deniable if someone asked, burned with the oppression of his misguided hand.  I was a toy for him, and he tried to break his toy.

It was a night like some others.  I had been able to get out of the house without anyone noticing.  He picked me up in his vehicle.  We went to a new place.  I was told to go into the bedroom and get ready.  I went down to skin and collar, as his protocol demanded.  I knelt and waited.

This was the night he had brought others.  This was the night he had gone beyond all bounds and told me he was going to ‘share’ me.  There had not been a discussion.  I was told.

I was lucky.  I was able to make a small excuse to stand and go to the other room.  All my stuff was in that bedroom.  There was a bathrobe that I took.  I left the collar.  I walked home.

I was 16.

That night, as I was feeling the loss of something that had not been comfortable, but had been familiar, I changed.   I walked and thought, and cried, and yelled.  I changed how I saw people.  I tried to change how I saw myself.  It has been a battle even before that night, and it will always be a battle.

I am Miss R.  I am a Dom.  I will not let anyone unworthy hold my leash ever again, and I will always strive to be worthy to hold the leashes I am given.

BdSm and Abuse

April 26, 2020 / posted in Article, FAQ / No Comments

 

“Please!  Mistress, I want you to abuse me!” you keen, as you do not see the room through the blindfold of your own making.

No.

Kink is not abuse

I just saw another interaction on a social media outlet that raised my hackles.  I direct messaged one of the people and found, instead of a shattered, joyless slave, there was a bouncy, uplifted bottom who reveled in the public humiliation.  They thanked me for making sure they were o.k., and I backed off.  And, even though the initial interaction I saw was not ‘good’, I was happy that they were happy.

Why did I message them?  Because, as a Dominant and reluctant Elder, it is my duty to be aware of situations that could turn badly, and cut it off before it does so.  The only way to do that is to go to the person who seems to be abused and communicate with them.

“But!  Isn’t all BdSm kinkiness abuse?” I hear you mumble through your socially unaware gag.

No. »Read More

Defining a Dom

February 28, 2020 / posted in Article / No Comments

The media gives a common vision of what someone who is Dominant does and is in todays society.  It is good to have a starting point that is common, but the compare/contrast on what a Dominant actually is and does is far more nuanced than the images of Lady Heather or Christian Grey we have been given.  How do we know who is Dominant if not with these common images?

To be Dominant, it takes knowledge and techniques to be able to showcase that dominance.  We see the leather, the lace, the whips and chains.  But, it would not work without the submissive in the relationship.  Everyone is different, and every Dominant/submissive relationship is different.  Yes, there is a penchant for dark humor and perhaps a little more giggling at others’ pain than is the median today, but, just like every interaction, the way a Dominant controls their submissive really is based on how that submissive allows themselves to be controlled.

Got you there, didn’t I.

It is the coin-sides of the Play we call Kink.  You cannot have one side without the other, and the commonality that binds them together.  You can have a simple D/s interaction just about anywhere without the obvious trappings we have come to expect.  It takes communication between the people involved before and during, and that is what the media just doesn’t let us see.  Without knowing the proper buttons to push, what makes it a good push, and what makes it a bad one, it will fall flat.  Talking before a session or interaction is how you explore how a Dominant can control the submissive with them.  Knowing that words have power, calling someone a sissy, may make them smile, it may make them get angry.  Depending on the reaction wanted, both are good.  It is the skilled Dominant that can use those reactions to push the submissive’s fantasy.

The physical techniques a Dominant uses, from Shibari rope work, through use of flogs and whips, to the ability to wrestle their submissive into a real submissive pose, are all flashy, and what people visually seek out.  In some circumstances, such as open play parties, just having the physical nature of Dominance on display is what is needed, and wanted.  It is what is beyond the snap of the whip and the hurting knees landing on the concrete floor that keeps a submissive coming back to a particular Dominant.  From the outside, it may all look the same.  From within the interaction, it can run hot, or cold.

How to define a Dom?  Someone who can control with a word, a look, a flick of a finger.  Because those are the things the submissive sees, and reacts to.

Kneel before me.  😉 

Miss R

A visual mini-session

December 19, 2019 / posted in Pictorials / No Comments

You are early.

Miss R half shot in translucent black full body dress

You are early. I wasn't quite ready.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Definitions in BDSM: Cute Quips and why they are wrong

August 2, 2019 / posted in Article / No Comments

Definitions in BDSM: Cute Quips and why they are wrong

There are some cute shirts and bumper stickers that some of my subs and clients have offered me over the years.  Tribute is always welcome, but sometimes I find it hard to accept things with sayings on them.  Yes, I am a Pro-Dom.  That does not mean I fit into any of the media stereotypes, and as such the t-shirts, even though cute, go unworn.  Let me explain.

The beatings will continue until morale improves.  This is a cute saying, and most of the time there is a pirate theme to it.  Yay pirates.  It is also goes against several of my personal rules.  If I am in a bad mood, I don’t play with people.  I do not take out my frustrations on someone, even if they are willing.  It is not fair to them, or myself, and can lead to not seeing limits before I trample over them.  If someone else is in a bad mood, I will hold off on giving a good flogging or such until I know why they are in a bad mood, and if getting beaten upon will really make them feel better.  Most of the time, it will not.

If I wanted your opinion, I would have beaten it out of you.  Um, no.  That is abuse, plain and simple.  I have relationships where it may look like I disregard the other person, but that is consensual with discussions where others cannot see them.  Abusing someone for my own pleasure is not right, even though it may look like that is what I am doing.  If I do not treat my sub with respect, they will not be my sub much longer.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me.  O.k..  This one is cute.  I still don’t wear anything with that on it because, well, they don’t.  It is the person I am with and what we do that excites me, not the objects that are used.  Others are object-oriented and I understand this, but not everyone who is into the BdSm lifestyle is into whips and chains and the pain that they represent.  There is more to explore, and I like to start with the sensual and work my way up from there.

Ouch is not a Safeword.  Um, yes it is.  Cute, until you think about it.  Not everyone has a pain tolerance and while I am in session with someone, I will take ouch as a Safeword.  Yes, there is the Red/Yellow/Green standard, but not everyone uses it, and not everyone gets up to that point.  It is all in the negotiations.

Queen Bitch/Bitch Goddess.  Some days, it is appropriate.  It is also offensive to me.  Why would I wear a shirt that tells people I have an attitude that I might not feel right then?  I am very open with what I am and what I do, but I do not need to have a 10 year old turn to his Mother and ask what it means in public.  Yes, I do somethings to shock, but wearing swear words is not one of them.  This goes for inappropriate names for female genitalia, offensive sexist pidgin-holing titles and just downright rude sayings.  But that is me.

Mistress.  Well, this one is one that I do like, but to offer to give me something that says Mistress on it is presumptive.  I want to get to know someone before I let them call me Mistress.  Having a t-shirt that says it as a gift assumes a relationship that just might not be there.

These are only a few of the things I have been offered over the years.  Yes, they can be cute, but think about what they really mean, and who you would want to really wear them before spending the money.  For me, start at the toes and work up and we will see what of the sayings is appropriate.

Have fun and I’ll see you at the Mall.

Miss R from the Leathermines.

Scene etiquette : Meeting people outside the lifestyle

August 2, 2019 / posted in Article / No Comments

Scene etiquette : Meeting people outside the lifestyle

"Hey!  Have I seen you somewhere before?"

This seems like an innocuous question, but when one person sees the other and can't remember where they have met, and the other person does because you have met at a play party, or more embarrassingly, played together, it can bring more than a bit of a flush of awkwardness to the situation.

There are many times when I am approached in restaurants, in the gym and even in department stores when people think they recognize me.  There are many times it is innocent, but more often than not, we have met in a kinky setting.  That is when things can get ... Interesting.

If you see someone that you think you know, and it turns out you met in a kinky setting, try to be discrete.  They may have people with them who do not know about the things they do in their play time.  If someone asks where you met, a good answer is, "A social club." You may need to back away to leave them to their conversation or activities, and a quick, "I'll see you" or other noncommittal phrase is good.

If the person you spotted is alone, please still be polite and not start in on the amazing rope scene you saw them do, or the scene you would like to do with them.  Ask if they are available right then to talk, if they are willing to talk about alternative things.  Take no for an answer.

If the setting is not conducive for talking, be willing to give them your contact information.  Quickly.  A card with a number or an email address is appropriate.  Making them wait and write down how to get ahold of you is not.  Asking them for their contact info is bordering on rude. If you have an alternative lifestyle email that you can use, that would be best, using profiles on sites such as O.K. Cupid or Fetlife, perfect. That keeps the kinky and the mundane from mixing too much.

Regardless if the person you are talking to is someone you have played with, or wish to play with, ask before calling them their 'in scene' name or title.  Being called Mistress in the middle of a fast food restaurant can bring interesting looks, and be very inappropriate. Some people like it.  I do not appreciate it without some warning.  If you do not remember their every day name, say so.  Asking, “What can I call you?” is always a good approach.

A good guideline is to approach someone you might have met in the BDSM lifestyle as if they had their Mother with them.  This should cushion things socially until you both know each other a little better.

Have fun talking with people and you might just see me, before I see you.

Miss R from the Leathermines

Miss R’s quick tips for Pro Doms

August 2, 2019 / posted in Article / No Comments

Miss R's quick tips for Pro Doms

I have been in and out of the Pro Dom thing for many years.  It depends on what is happening in my life, and how my social life is doing.  That sounds odd, but if I am doing well socially, I am doing well as a Pro Dom. 

There are a few things I have picked up over the years that help me in my day to day dommish things.  I hope that this is not too rambling.

Get a membership in a 24 hour gym.  One with many locations and affiliates is better.  A 24 hour gym allows you to clean up and change before or after a session without having to go home.  Or use the client’s facilities if it was not part of the negotiated scene. If you had to travel a ways, having a gym that can let you use their water to clean up is a good thing.

Along with a gym membership, have your workout bag with you if you can when you go to a session.  Keep an extra set of clothes with you, like a long dress or scrubs.  You can throw this on or over what you are wearing to keep decent, or to get into something clean, even if you are not using the gym.  

Be open about where you are going to the people you live with or who care about you.  Have a check-in time to let them know you are good and safe.  Having to lie or cover up what you are doing never works out.

Know what you are doing, and along with that, do not be afraid to say you do not have experience in something.  If you do not know about an activity, look it up, research it and let your gut tell you whether or not you are willing to do it.  Be careful and-

Don't be afraid to say, "No." It is not worth your health, life or reputation to let yourself be forced into something you don't wish to do.  Be straight forward with who you are dealing with, as in, try not to couch things in too many qualifiers such as 'maybe', 'perhaps' or 'I'm not sure'.  This leads to pushiness on the client's part which can lead you into doing things you shouldn't.

Have a backup plan.  No matter what you are doing, plan on an alternative.  If you are traveling to the other side of town to see someone and they either don't show up or it doesn't work out, know a place you can hang out at for a while to make the trip worth it.  If you plan on doing one type of scene, make sure you can do a different one without the key items needed for the planned scene.  Have a plan on getting home or to a safe place if your transportation fails you.  Always have a plan B.

Know others in the Pro part of the scene.  There are times when you may need to get out from under an appointment, or a client.  Being able to refer to another Pro is a good fallback.  You can set up 'Double Dom' sessions and get referrals back, too.

Allow yourself to have time to deal with the mental, emotional and physical aspects of your own Aftercare.  Aftercare is important for your client, but if you don’t take care of your own needs, you will burn out or be unsafe to be with your clients.  You are a professional, but the does not mean you are a machine.  Understand that a good scene or interaction has impacts on your psyche as much as the bad ones do.  Try not to let bad scenes, and the aftermath, overwhelm you.  Know that you will get through it, and onto the next thing or client.  It just may take a bit to balance yourself.

There are many other things that being a Pro Dom entails.  This is but a small portion go the things I have learned over the years.

Go out and make the world kneel.  I’ll bring the floggs.

Miss R from The Leathermines

My kind of Car Meetup.

June 22, 2019 / posted in Stories / No Comments

Zip-ties, a 10mm socket and cam seal being held loosely

 

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