the Leathermines

Picture of the Day:Amazon Queen

Miss R — Wed, 06 Mar 2013 03:11:45 +0000

Shall you serve her?

Coffee Foot Rub

Miss R — Thu, 14 Feb 2013 15:37:44 +0000

I go through many cups of coffee a day. Many. With all that coffee, I have lots of grounds to throw out.

Perhaps not…

I hate waste. What is better than giving myself a coffee foot scrub?

Then I started to scrub off all those dry spots…

Then a scrub with some soap in a pouf and a rinse.

Stereotypical phrases

Miss R — Mon, 11 Feb 2013 15:10:10 +0000

I was at a conference when I heard this – “Teaching a blowjob like a gay guy.”

I laughed. Then I thought. It made me think about stereotypes, specifically ones in BdSm.

What stereotypes are there in bdsm?

Exit to Eden, 50 shades of Grey, Lady Heather…

Media-movies, TV and such-is how information is spread in today’s society, but in a fast paced, bulk production time. This means that the people who create the books, movies and tv shows can only put in what can be described and shown easily. The sensational is going to win out over the mundane. It is flashier to show the black leather and vinyl than the cleaning of toys and pre-scene negotiations.

In the 70′s and 80′s, many of the bdsm lifestyle people had to deal with the British spanking magazines and the very vocal Gay Leather movement. People who were into neither had to blend in by looking like what people thought the Fetish community was like and outing themselves or by wearing and acting like the vanilla people around them and hiding everything they were doing.

This doesn’t sound too much different than today, but even now, the look gave you credibility if you were able to find others to play with. Though we are striving to look past what people look like and see the wonderful person beneath, it is hard to do. If you go to a pro Dom and they are in bunny slippers, you are less likely to take them seriously as a strong Dominant.

Leather. Black leather. This is what people think of when the fetish community is thought of. Black leather. Not everyone in the community has, or likes, leather. And why black? Traditionally, it was the uniform of Gay Leather, mainly because it did not show wear, and was available because of motorcycle riders and police uniform. Black is easy to make, easy to match. The striking black and white combination is what the stereotypical pictures in magazines show. That is not the only ‘look’.

Stereotypes are created to allow people not of the group to try to understand. It does not always work that way. It can make the people within the group include and exclude just because of the stereotype.

Jokes come from stereotypes. They can be very true, but are not always. And with the humor, sometimes bdsm to be explained to people, making it less a joke and more of a standardized pigeonholing.

Gender stereotypes are strong in the fetish community. Some of it is because of the objectification that many people like for part of their fantasy. It can also get in the way of people being able to explore and change.

We are in bdsm to push limits, to stretch and redefine ourselves, but we still fall into recognition patterns that can be destructive to self and the community. Every group has self-defining things, some of which are seen and interpreted by the outside community. Many times, these are misinterpreted and where the true destructive stereotypes are born.

Media uses stereotypes to keep tv and movies more to the point. The use of what most will recognize makes it unnecessary to take time for exposition. The social cues for anything is a shorthand for the storytelling. Using the bdsm cues of black leather and crops clues the watcher that something explicit is being gone into. Trying to use an authentic, but not as well known image, such as a can of Crisco, takes time from the story telling, making it more complicated. Media does not like to make it complicated.

Bringing other overlaying stereotypes into the mix can makes both either become ‘truer’ to the original, or change to compete characactures of themselves. It can be such that combining stereotypes will almost balance out the ones combined to the point that they seem mainstream, normal. It can also work out that one is so fantastic compared with the other that you do not see one as a stereotype at all.

As examples of stereotypes that often are combined, the Gay Leatherman with a ‘decorator gay’ side. From the potentially shocking portrayal of leather and sadistic homosexual conduct, the ‘safe’ side of the gay man arranging furniture seems comforting to many writers and media outlets.

There is the point that any stereotype can be considered -ist in some way.

Sex-ist. Race-ist. Size-ist. Age-ist.

Propaganda uses the -ist to work for or against people for a goal. Stereotypes begin with a kernel of truth, but are over simplified aspects of only one facet of what is being depicted.

How to fight or change stereotypes? Know they are there and go from there. See what could be considered a stereotype about how you present yourself and try to change aspects to show more of what you want. Look at the stereotypes others use, either for the themselves or how they deal with others and then try to see why they may be using them. Are you using yours as a shield, protection? As a distraction. From what you really feel like?

Laugh, then think.

Miss R

Yet another website

Miss R — Tue, 05 Feb 2013 17:59:40 +0000

I am starting up another website, Share-Tit, to keep track of the Erotica and such I like from other sources. It is bare bones at the moment, but we shall see how that works out.

Miss R

DomCon Atlanta

Miss R — Tue, 16 Oct 2012 22:33:41 +0000

I am very tired as I write this. It is partially because I had a fantastic time, and partially because I drove to and from Atlanta from Wisconsin.

WOW

Being a Convention person, both attending and support, I was impressed with it. I will strive to go back, and possibly attend the LA DomCon.

It was nice being in an environment where the Professional Dominants, mostly women, but not all, could be together to meet as peers, not adversaries. Watching each other, talking, learning… It was great. I miss my Sisters already.

Now to go take a nap.

Miss R

A session glance

Miss R — Thu, 30 Aug 2012 01:55:37 +0000

There is a noise. You are on your knees and were told not to turn, not to move. But the noise is loud and sudden and you have to see what it was.

*Smack*

The crop hits your shoulder, coming uncomfortably close to your ear as it swings past. Your eyes snap back to the front and look at the place you were told to look. There are more noises, but you try to ignore them as you look at the wood floor, a small divot showing something hard had hit there. Recently.

There is a tug on your hair and then a cloth is pulled down over your eyes. You can still hear. The noises are slightly muffled, but that just makes them more alarming. Fingers are running across your bare skin and you tense right before you think a finger is going to tweak your nipple.

*Smack*

“No flinching.”

The voice is calm, almost businesslike as you are reminded of the rules. Do not flinch. Only look where you are told. Do not speak or call out or even moan without permission.

The last one is hard as you feel a hand on your throat, tightening as a whisper of a kiss is brushed past your lips. You follow the pressure of the hand and stand, waiting as the blindfold is doing it’s job and not letting you see what is happening.

The hand is gone from your throat and you think you can hear a step to the side, but you cannot even turn your head to track the noise without knowing you will be punished.

There is a clink of chain and you feel something trailing over your shoulder. A leash is being clipped to your collar and you follow the pull. There is a small laugh as you knock into a chair, a push on your arm shoving you out of the way of something else, you hope.

You are led around the room, step by step. You can’t be as hesitant as you may want because of the constant pull on your lead.

It stops and you take one step too many.

*Smack*

You stand and then you are pushed slightly down on the shoulder, the signal to kneel again. You are on a pillow. Surprising as you hadn’t seen any in the room when you entered. You hear a chair move and it is right in front of you.

“Now… Let’s see if you have learned anything since last time.”

Your blindfold is off and you blink to try to get used to the bright light in the room. She is sitting there, and she must have been pleased with the session so far. She has a smile and is sitting so that you can see the lace barely covering her between her thighs.

She nods.

I am now tweeting.

Miss R — Fri, 06 Jul 2012 23:17:05 +0000

To help let people know where I am and what fabulous things I shall be doing, I now have a Twitter account. Look for leathermines and keep up to date with what I am doing. Be nice, and I might follow you, too.

Miss R

Miss R to go On Travel

Miss R — Thu, 05 Jul 2012 22:58:19 +0000

Wonders will never cease. My life is about to get a little more fun!

There is a new BdSm toy company starting up in my area. They are called Industrial DisEase and they are making wonderful exchangeable head floggers. From the ball-chain, spline and rope flogs they have available, I think my favorite is the Lion’s Tail, made with sisal rope, followed closely by the rope BlackJack.

I have the opportunity to go to several of the kinky gatherings that are held in the States in the next few months representing them. The three I know of at this point are GLLA, FetFest and DomCon Atlanta. There are other places I will be happily using their vicious devices, such as MadTown KinkFest, but I have wanted to go to the others and have not had the chance.

I am so happy!

If you are interested in having a face to face meeting at one of the events I have listed while I am in the area, drop me an introductory note and I will see what my schedule looks like.

Miss R

Digital Chastity

Miss R — Tue, 03 Jul 2012 01:24:40 +0000

He waited for the text. It was getting too close to the bedtime She had set for him, but he had to get online to send a work email. She had set the computer to shut off exactly at his bedtime and he needed to send the email that night.

He knew that he could have gone around the password she had set, but she had ways of knowing what he did, even beyond the key logger he had found and had disabled one time. She had called him directly within the hour, telling him his punishment for not only disabling the key logger, but having been to the websites he had visited. This was why she was his Mistress. She was on the ball and more savvy than any of the others he had contacted over the years.

He looked back to the smart phone as if the glance would make the text come through. She had never taken this long to reply before. 10 minutes to bed time.

He needed the password to be able to access his Internet account.

He took the time to rework the email. Putting in a part of the project he had forgotten to mention before. He looked at the clock and grimaced. Less than 2 minutes.

The phone vibrated and he had it in hand before the actual ring for the text sounded.

One line, the password plus “It’s their, not they’re.”

He was able to send the corrected email before the computer turned it’s self off. He sat there, staring at the screen for a few minutes, letting the shock of the text wear off before he started on his bed time routine.

He could not sleep. It was even more direct than when she called him. She knew what he had written. And had corrected him. He looked at the glowing numbers and tried to close his eyes.

The chime that announced that the computer was turning on for the day. It was the best alarm clock for him. Knowing he can get online within a few minutes of that sound did something to him to bring most of him awake at once.

He waited that morning. He cleaned himself. He dressed. He fed himself. He was close to needing to get to the bus to get to work when he approached his computer. The email had been received, looked over and the reply was waiting for him. He was happy as he went out to the bus stop.

There was a vibration and the phone was in his hand as the text came through. “Congratulations. An hour extra tonight.”

He almost went home to masturbate because of the reaction the simple text brought out of him. He didn’t, knowing She would know somehow, and would not want to push it.

Picture of the Day – Waiting to be cleaned

Miss R — Fri, 04 May 2012 02:13:38 +0000

These are just the boots I have waiting for my boot black to get to. Yes, I know some are not black.